Jack O'Connell, of Hempstead, actor, bartender, father, dies at 81
Jack O'Connell "loved the ability to be someone else" as an actor, his wife said. He died March 3 at age 81. Credit: Margaret O'Connell
Jack O'Connell played many roles in his life: soldier, husband, father, bartender and actor.
And in each part, he lived by these words, "All you have to do is the most good you can in your life," according to one of his sons, who said his father often told his children the phrase.
"He was always polite and jovial with strangers and knew how to make people feel good about themselves," said his son Henry O'Connell, of Grand Forks, North Dakota, in an email.
The Hempstead resident died on March 3 after a brief illness with influenza A. He was 81.
John Anthony "Jack" O'Connell was born on Oct. 9, 1943, in South Ozone Park, Queens. He moved with his family to Long Island and graduated from Baldwin High School in 1961. In 1963, O'Connell enlisted in the Army and was stationed in Washington, D.C., as part of the honor guard. He was discharged in 1965 as a private first class.
After leaving the Army, O'Connell bartended and worked to become an actor. He met his second wife, Margaret, in 1976, when he was a bartender in Rockville Centre.
"A friend of mine was waitressing there and asked me to take her waitress job that night. I met Jack and left my phone number with him but he never called," said O'Connell's wife, a retired New York City teacher. "We met up again and became pen pals over the summer, and at the end of the summer, he invited me to a Halloween party and that was that."
The couple married in May 1983, and moved to Hempstead that same year with O'Connell's four children from a previous marriage: Megan Salerno, John O'Connell, Mary O'Connell and Alison Vaaler. The couple later had sons Henry O'Connell, James O'Connell and Liam O'Connell. Later in life, the family learned of O'Connell's son Kevin More.
When it came to his 40-year acting career, O'Connell "loved the ability to be someone else," according to his wife.
"He liked to be able to assume a different personality," she said. "Later on in life, he got into writing. He was a wonderful storyteller."
O'Connell's numerous acting credits include television shows such as "Blue Bloods," "The Sopranos," "Mad Men" and "All My Children" and films, including "Money Train," "Inside Llewyn Davis," "Requiem for a Dream" and "The Big Sick."
When he wasn't playing a character on screen, O'Connell was simply known as Dad, or Pop Pop to his grandchildren.
"He was kind but very strong. He had so much experience in his own life that he was able to guide them and help them make decisions," Margaret O'Connell said about her husband's role as a father. "He loved playing sports with them — he loved baseball. He took them to the beach, the woods and Hempstead Lake State Park. He was always with them out in nature."
"My father gave every one of his children the attention, love, and support that they needed. With eight children I still don’t know how he did it, but he did, and a whole lot more," Henry O'Connell wrote.
He said his favorite moments were on the beach with his father and siblings.
According to his family, O'Connell was an avid reader, amateur photographer and marathon runner, who completed six marathons throughout his running career. He volunteered at the men's shelter at Our Lady of Loretto, in Hempstead, and was active for many years in the groups Artists Without Walls and Writers Read in New York City. O'Connell also was a member of the Teamsters union and the Screen Actors Guild, later SAG-AFTRA.
Longtime friend Keith Griffin, of Rockville Centre, recalled meeting O'Connell in 1995 during his time as a bartender, a job that O'Connell excelled at because he was "so easy to talk to."
"He put people at ease," Griffin said. "He was a really interesting guy and a very modest and selfless person. If you needed him, he would be there."
In addition to his wife, O'Connell is survived by his eight children and 12 grandchildren. He was predeceased by his first wife, Alison (Conroy) O’Connell. A funeral Mass was held on March 7 at the Church of St. Joseph in Garden City followed by burial at Queen of Peace Cemetery in Old Westbury.
Jack O'Connell played many roles in his life: soldier, husband, father, bartender and actor.
And in each part, he lived by these words, "All you have to do is the most good you can in your life," according to one of his sons, who said his father often told his children the phrase.
"He was always polite and jovial with strangers and knew how to make people feel good about themselves," said his son Henry O'Connell, of Grand Forks, North Dakota, in an email.
The Hempstead resident died on March 3 after a brief illness with influenza A. He was 81.
John Anthony "Jack" O'Connell was born on Oct. 9, 1943, in South Ozone Park, Queens. He moved with his family to Long Island and graduated from Baldwin High School in 1961. In 1963, O'Connell enlisted in the Army and was stationed in Washington, D.C., as part of the honor guard. He was discharged in 1965 as a private first class.
After leaving the Army, O'Connell bartended and worked to become an actor. He met his second wife, Margaret, in 1976, when he was a bartender in Rockville Centre.
"A friend of mine was waitressing there and asked me to take her waitress job that night. I met Jack and left my phone number with him but he never called," said O'Connell's wife, a retired New York City teacher. "We met up again and became pen pals over the summer, and at the end of the summer, he invited me to a Halloween party and that was that."
The couple married in May 1983, and moved to Hempstead that same year with O'Connell's four children from a previous marriage: Megan Salerno, John O'Connell, Mary O'Connell and Alison Vaaler. The couple later had sons Henry O'Connell, James O'Connell and Liam O'Connell. Later in life, the family learned of O'Connell's son Kevin More.
When it came to his 40-year acting career, O'Connell "loved the ability to be someone else," according to his wife.
"He liked to be able to assume a different personality," she said. "Later on in life, he got into writing. He was a wonderful storyteller."
O'Connell's numerous acting credits include television shows such as "Blue Bloods," "The Sopranos," "Mad Men" and "All My Children" and films, including "Money Train," "Inside Llewyn Davis," "Requiem for a Dream" and "The Big Sick."
When he wasn't playing a character on screen, O'Connell was simply known as Dad, or Pop Pop to his grandchildren.
"He was kind but very strong. He had so much experience in his own life that he was able to guide them and help them make decisions," Margaret O'Connell said about her husband's role as a father. "He loved playing sports with them — he loved baseball. He took them to the beach, the woods and Hempstead Lake State Park. He was always with them out in nature."
"My father gave every one of his children the attention, love, and support that they needed. With eight children I still don’t know how he did it, but he did, and a whole lot more," Henry O'Connell wrote.
He said his favorite moments were on the beach with his father and siblings.
According to his family, O'Connell was an avid reader, amateur photographer and marathon runner, who completed six marathons throughout his running career. He volunteered at the men's shelter at Our Lady of Loretto, in Hempstead, and was active for many years in the groups Artists Without Walls and Writers Read in New York City. O'Connell also was a member of the Teamsters union and the Screen Actors Guild, later SAG-AFTRA.
Longtime friend Keith Griffin, of Rockville Centre, recalled meeting O'Connell in 1995 during his time as a bartender, a job that O'Connell excelled at because he was "so easy to talk to."
"He put people at ease," Griffin said. "He was a really interesting guy and a very modest and selfless person. If you needed him, he would be there."
In addition to his wife, O'Connell is survived by his eight children and 12 grandchildren. He was predeceased by his first wife, Alison (Conroy) O’Connell. A funeral Mass was held on March 7 at the Church of St. Joseph in Garden City followed by burial at Queen of Peace Cemetery in Old Westbury.
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