Families gather in Port Jefferson to honor loved ones lost to violence

Mourners in black, some holding red roses, many with teary eyes, filled a banquet hall Sunday at the Port Jefferson Country Club.

A place where the first Sunday in April typically means the golf season is getting into full swing, was instead filled with families honoring their loved ones who had died violent deaths.

Among those in attendance was Scott Grabelsky, of Merrick.

"My son Evan would’ve turned 38 years old last Sunday," Grabelsky told the group. "Evan was slashed and stabbed to death so many times that I had to do a double-take when I saw the medical examiner’s report."

The event, an annual luncheon sponsored by Long Island and New York Parents & Other Survivors of Murdered Victims Outreach, was held Sunday to coincide with National Crime Victims' Rights Week. Also in attendance were detectives with the Nassau and Suffolk police homicide squads, as well as Suffolk County District Attorney Ray Tierney.

Members of the Long Island group meet monthly at locations in either Nassau or Suffolk where they share stories of their loved ones and offer each other support through the grieving process.

They took turns Sunday reading aloud from a list of nearly 700 victims whose families have sought support from the group since 1981.

Ryan Lindquist, 23, stabbed Evan Grabelsky  more than 150 times inside the family’s home in Merrick in 2019. Several years later, Lindquist was sentenced to 20 years to life in prison under a plea bargain.

"Some people think that’s a long time, but to me it’s a slap on the wrist," Scott Grabelsky said on Sunday. "If you take a life, you deserve to give up your life. You shouldn’t be let out of prison for murder."

Howard Hirschel’s 29-year-old daughter Leah was killed by her husband, William Walsh, in 2008.

"Being amongst people that have traveled on the same road is soothing in and of itself," he said.

His daughter taught special education at a Glen Cove school, Hirschel said, adding he has attended the group’s monthly meetings since 2009. His wife Mattie, 78, usually stays home, but attended Sunday.

"I talk to her everyday," Mattie Hirschel said of Leah, adding she reads Newsday’s sports section in honor of her daughter, who loved the Knicks, the Mets and the Dallas Cowboys. 

William Walsh has his first parole hearing next year.

"That’s something I’m not looking forward to," Howard Hirschel said.

Walsh choked and killed his wife, disposed of her body, covered the evidence and then begged the public for help finding her, playing the role of distraught husband, according to Newsday's coverage at the time.

Tabitha Miller, vice president of the outreach group, is still seeking justice for her sister. One of nine children growing up, her sister, Sarah Goode, was raped and killed in 2014. Goode had a 4-year-old daughter, Jocelyn.

Now 15, Jocelyn stood up Sunday to read her mother’s name among the list of hundreds of victims. Miller, 39, said families glean different kinds of support from the group: silent hugs, support through birthdays and anniversaries. But, through tears, she said, the biggest thing she’s gained is "a bigger family I didn’t want."