By land or by sea, these 19th century women led a whale of a life

The life of the wife of a 19th century whaler could be full of adventure or independence — both of which came mixed with loneliness and isolation.

The stories of those lives will be told through photographs, journal entries and artifacts during an upcoming virtual lecture that The Whaling Museum & Education Center of Cold Spring Harbor is hosting in honor of Women’s History Month.

The discussion material comes from the museum's online exhibit “Heroines at the Helm,” which highlights the fascinating yet little-known lives, stories and experiences of pioneering American whaling wives who defied convention.

“It was a very bizarre reality to be married to a whaler,” said Brenna McCormick-Thompson, the education curator at the museum who will give the  lecture, titled "Women at Sea."

She said whaling reached its height in the 19th century. The voyages, which involved hunting whales to harvest them for oil, lubrication and fashion, could be as long as five years for those sailing from Cold Spring Harbor in New York and New Bedford and Nantucket in Massachusetts. The vessels usually were only 100 feet in length, according to museum officials.

It also was the pinnacle of the Victorian era, when gender roles were strictly enforced.

Women who were married to the captains of whaler vessels were put into “impossible” positions, having to choose between going out to sea with their spouses or staying home alone. Neither option offered an opportunity to fulfill the ideal of womanhood as prescribed at the time, said McCormick-Thompson.

While going to sea offered adventure, staying home offered its own opportunities — giving whaling wives who made that choice a lot more freedom than even widows at the time, according to the museum official.

“Their husbands are alive but they are not reachable for years at a time,” McCormick-Thompson said. “So they are in a position to make a lot of financial decisions, they run their own businesses.”

For the wives who went to sea, there were experiences other people only could read about, including dining with the king of Hawaii, and learning to navigate or to nurse, according to museum officials.

McCormick-Thompson said while it was "hard and disgusting being on a whale ship," there were positives too and the lecture "gives a glimpse into what the reality was for these women and how they rose to the occasion.”

Nomi Dayan, executive director of the center, said the women’s diaries provided the foundation of the lecture and exhibit.

In them, she said, can be found how the female pioneers felt about whaling and how they dealt with boredom, raising children and even doing laundry.

Those who visit the museum in person will be able to see some portraits and diary entries from the "Heroines at the Helm" exhibit that first opened in 2018. Also on display will be scrimshaw — whale teeth that have carvings or hand engraving.

“You’re doing it because you're bored and you have nothing else to do,” Dayan said of the whaling wives' artwork. “You’re surrounded by this byproduct, so they would take sewing needles and carve into the teeth. It’s so neat.”