Out of the Darkness Walk at Jones Beach promotes suicide prevention

Chris and Alex Tafone were smiling so wide you could see their teeth.

It was December 2013, and Christopher had brought his son, then 5, to celebrate Christmas with Christopher’s identical twin cousins, John and Thomas Reistetter. Alex tugged on his father’s hand as the four posed for a photo.

On Sunday, the Tafones posed for a new memory. They crouched on either side of a poster affixed to the side of the Jones Beach State Park boardwalk emblazoned with that photo, wearing gray T-shirts that read: “Walk to Fight Suicide.”

This time, they did not smile with teeth.

“That was hard,” Chris Tafone said. “I’m never going to see them again.”

John Reistetter died by suicide on June 7, 2021, at the age of 51. Thomas Reistetter died by suicide on Sept. 14, 2022. He was 52.

The Tafones, of Kings Park, joined about 3,000 others Sunday for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s annual Out of the Darkness Walk. AFSP raised $500,000 from Sunday’s walk, a spokesperson said. People carried posters and wore shirts and hats with the faces and names of loved ones they had lost. Some fought back tears as they approached the starting line. “Walking for my cousin” one shirt read. “The world needs you” read another.

Chris Tafone's cousins, who were five years his senior, had been touched by mental health issues from a young age. Their father had died by suicide, as had their father’s brother.

“They never talked about the loss, they never talked about the way he died, they never talked about how they felt about it,” Chris Tafone said. “Back in the day, [society] just treated it differently. Mental health was something you snapped out of, or you ignored it.”

Chris Tafone looked up to his cousins growing up, he said. They were athletic and charismatic. And they did everything together. They worked as lifeguards at the same pool. They graduated from City College of New York and became architects. They moved out west and started families: John Reistetter had two daughters, and Thomas Reistetter had a son. 

Then, during the pandemic, John Reistetter got laid off. He started his own business with a partner, but the transition wore on him, Chris Tafone said. After his death, his wife and children moved to Stockholm, Sweden, where his wife’s family is from.

Thomas Reistetter, who remained in Los Angeles, was shaken by the move, Chris Tafone said.

“That was really difficult for me, but really hard for Thom. I remember he called me and he said, ‘They’re gone,’” Chris Tafone said. “I said, ‘They’re not gone. Stockholm is almost the same distance as going from New York to Los Angeles. They’re still there. You can still visit.’

Thomas was wracked with guilt over his brother's death, Chris Tafone said. When Chris Tafone asked Thomas if he was considering killing himself, Thomas said he was not. 

"They don't often tell you the whole picture," Chris Tafone said. 

The Tafones pulled into the Jones Beach parking lot Sunday as the sun rose to help prepare for the event. Chris Tafone, an AFSP board member, has found purpose and comfort in educating others about suicide awareness. And that passion has rubbed off on his son: Next month, Alex Tafone, 16, will launch his Trooping for Tomorrow 5K walk/run, as part of his Eagle Scout service project, with all proceeds going to AFSP.

On Sunday, Alex Tafone walked beside his father and mother, Georgia, his aunt Marissa, of Jersey City, New Jersey, and family friends Geoffrey Au and Sam Gadkar, of Port Jefferson.

Alex Tafone said he was caught by surprise when he saw the photo from 2013 on the side of the boardwalk. He was transported back to that jolly evening, and for a brief moment, it felt like his father’s cousins “were there,” he said.

“It’s like being with them again,” Alex Tafone said. “You’re posing with them in a photo. It might not ever happen again.

“It’s never going to really happen again.”

If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline can be reached by calling or texting 988.

By Joshua Needelman

joshua.needelman@newsday.com

Joshua Needelman covers the Town of North Hempstead for Newsday. A Long Island native and University of Maryland graduate, his work has appeared in publications including The New York Times and The Washington Post.