Musings: Who is guiding parents on raising children?

Everywhere I turn, adults are sounding an alarm on children’s well-being — social-emotional wellness, school readiness, play, literacy. Parenting is deeply personal, yet some argue the best approach is to learn from cultures that have successfully raised children for generations. By drawing wisdom from elders and embracing community knowledge, we can adopt proven parenting practices.

Yet, in a society that has largely lost its “tribes,” an important question emerges: Who is teaching parents how to parent? Pediatricians? Family? Schools? How do parents learn developmentally sound practices for raising physically, socially, and emotionally healthy children? Beyond the required “don’t shake your baby” training in hospitals, what other guidance do parents receive?

Some schools have removed child care and family-related electives from curricula in favor of STEM subjects — science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. Educators frequently remark on declining attention spans. Teachers lament that students struggle to sit through a 10-minute film clip. Meanwhile, anxiety, depression, and suicide rates among young people are rising — warnings that authors like Jonathan Haidt, who wrote “The Anxious Generation,” are sounding.

If parents aren’t reading books, listening to podcasts or following reputable news sources, how are they learning to parent? Many young parents now rely on platforms like TikTok as their primary source of information, often encountering contradictory advice.

There is growing concern about the post-COVID generation of “phone babies” and “tablet tots.” Infants in car seats and toddlers in restaurants, with eyes locked on screens, miss out on critical sensory experiences and social development. At the same time, guidelines for screen time, media consumption, sleep, nutrition, play, and early literacy development have been established.

So, who is providing parents with these essential guidelines? Pediatricians would seem a logical choice. We’ve long heard, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but that village has mostly vanished. Without knowledge and support, we risk raising a generation lacking in skills needed to navigate the world around them — with consequences far beyond short attention spans. We must address this knowledge gap. Someone? Anyone?

— Amy Jo Southworth, Sayville