Kaelyn McCandless maintains unbreakable bond with dad and Lindenhurst lacrosse amid brain cancer treatment 

The late-afternoon sun was running bright and the wind was running cold at this varsity boys lacrosse game in Riverhead. The Lindenhurst coach peered out intently from the sideline, and his stat girl stood a few feet away, shielding her eyes, keeping a 20/20 focus on the action.

Tommy McCandless would shout instructions and occasionally make a comment to the girl, his daughter, Kaelyn. And she would deliver encouragement to the Bulldogs out there on the turf:

“Let’s go, Del.”

“Come on, Alex.”

And the players would ask her a question or just converse since she’s a piece of the fabric.

“Kaelyn, do you know how many penalties we have already?”

“Kaelyn, how’s your social studies project going?”

The Bulldogs won on this mid-April day. But no matter the outcome of their games, every day that Kaelyn McCandless is still here counts as a win for her, Tommy McCandless and all those who love and care about this girl from Lindenhurst.

As it turns out, the toughest, bravest Bulldog is a slender 5-4 teen stat person and varsity volleyball player who laughs easily and hasn’t stopped living despite such a cruel twist of fate — a diagnosis of terminal brain cancer.

“It’s always in the back of my head, but I try not to think about it,” Kaelyn said, sitting in an office at Kellum Street School in Lindenhurst before the team bus left for Riverhead. “I was like, What’s the point of being sad? You could be out doing stuff and being happy and going out.”

Still, father and daughter have had what he calls “heavy conversations.”

“She said to me at her wake play ‘Come Sail Away’ by Styx,” Tommy said.

This is a situation that no sweet 16-year-old should have to face. But she has been facing it for a good while.

“I have to be brave,” Kaelyn said. “Otherwise, it could get a lot scarier.”

So she’s still driven to succeed academically. She also has dreams like everyone else in Lindenhurst’s junior class. A doctor told her to set short-term goals. Next, she wants to graduate high school and attend college. She also wants to become a physical therapist. And she wants to travel and see London in particular.

She said she learned to accept her plight “and just move past it. It’s just there. I’m living my life and it’s on the side . . . Not really care about anything, just have fun. I take it day by day.”

Defying the odds

Kaelyn got hit in the head with a nerf football in January of 2016 and had subsequent issues. Her mom, Lynne McCandless, said by July of that year, she was found to have a high-grade malignant brain tumor. It was on her motor strip, which controls movement. She was 8.

There was an operation to remove what they could of the tumor, but it grew again. She had another operation in 2018 to again remove what they could.

An even more sobering diagnosis came that year, a second brain cancer called leptomeningeal disease. Floating cancer cells had spread in her brain.

“The normal trend would be within 18 months to two years, you pass,” Lynne said.

And here we are in 2025.

“She’s not giving up,” Lynne said.

About four years ago, Kaelyn was hooked up to IVs and ready to head in for an operation to try to remove the tumor. First, she was wheeled into a room. A doctor told her about the possible negative repercussions — including paralysis.

She sank in the wheelchair. Her eyes began to well.

“K, we’re not doing it,” her dad said.

Fine with her.

“I’d rather deal with the tumor and be able to do stuff myself and be able to walk,” she said. “That’s when I accepted I’ll have my tumor for the rest of my life.”

Kaelyn has had radiation and still goes through chemo cycles to try to keep it from growing. It’s difficult on her body. Sometimes she doesn’t feel well and just pushes through.

“Every three months we do scans and they’ve been stable,” Tommy said.

She told her parents she wants to stop chemo when she turns 18.

“She’s under palliative care now, so there’s no cure for what she has,” Lynne said. “It’s just keeping her comfortable, hoping that something new comes out.”

'Enjoy every day with her'

The prognosis in 2018 ripped her parents’ hearts into pieces.

“I was a mess,” said Tommy, also an assistant varsity field hockey and girls basketball coach and longtime social studies teacher at Lindenhurst. “I didn’t go to school for two months, I think. I stayed home, actually ripped apart half my house because I was so [ticked] off. Ended up doing construction because I just didn’t know what to do.”

This 53-year-old former Lindenhurst lacrosse and football player is now determined “to enjoy every day with her.”

But when Kaelyn was in the hospital seven years ago, the sadness washed over him one day, and the tears started to flow in front of her.

“I just didn’t want anyone to be upset about anything,” Kaelyn said. “I was like, ‘No, Dad, it’s going to be OK. Don’t cry. It’s OK.’ ”

She has also seen the sadness in her mom at times.

“In the beginning, it was very, very tough,” said Lynne, a former Lindenhurst softball player. “But we’ve had so much time with it now that we take each day as a blessing. We’re thankful that she’s still here.

“That kid fights for everything she’s got. She makes it easier on us to cope with it.”

This isn’t the only illness among their seven children that has required their coping skills. Kaelyn’s 21-year-old sister, Riley, has undergone two kidney transplants.

Kaelyn and Riley were the ones behind launching “Kaelyn’s Krusaders,” which raises money for families impacted by cancer.

“Even though [Kaelyn is] going through her stuff, she's still trying to help other people,” Tommy said. “. . . She wanted to start that before she was gone, which I thought was really big of her.”

Vic Guadagnino, the Riverhead boys lacrosse coach who’s friends with Tommy as is Blue Waves assistant Chris Nentwich, once ran in a 5K fundraiser for Riley.

“They’ve been through a lot and we’re very close with them,” Guadagnino said of the family. “. . . So if he needs something, we’re always there for him.”

The Islanders were there for Kaelyn earlier on in this fight.

The captain, Anders Lee, who won the NHL’s 2024 King Clancy Memorial Trophy for his humanitarian efforts assisting children and families dealing with cancer, bought her a portable basketball hoop. Lee and then-teammate Josh Bailey were among the players who talked to her after games. The team also signed a jersey for her.

Co-owner Jon Ledecky, other personnel and Sparky the mascot even visited the house.

She also got to drop the ceremonial first puck for an Islanders-Florida game at Nassau Coliseum.

“It was nice,” she said. “… I was definitely really, really nervous."

A three-sport girl

It hasn’t always been easy for her to cope.

“She did, this year, ask for a therapist,” Lynne said, “which I think has made a big difference.”

Being involved with Lindenhurst athletics has also been a big help.

“It definitely keeps her going,” her mom said.

Kaelyn said she loves being an athlete. She plays on the back row in volleyball, although she has bouts with numbness on her right side.

In the winter, she shoots video of the varsity girls basketball games for coach Greg Flynn.

“I admire her courage, for sure,” Flynn said.

She’s very close with her sister, Delaney, a standout senior guard who has committed to play for Elmira. So the videos came with a Kaelyn soundtrack.

“It would be funny because every time you show the video, she would be like, ‘Come on, Delaney, how could you miss that? You can’t miss that. That’s terrible,’ ” Flynn said. “I’m like, ‘Kaelyn, can you spare me the commentary?’ ”

And in the spring, there’s lacrosse.

“Not to be morbid,” Tommy said, “but knowing we’re in a time limit with her, having this little bond with us is fun.”

This is her third season keeping stats for him. She breaks down film with him, too. He said Kaelyn is “like a coach.”

“It’s therapy for both of them,” retired Lindenhurst boys lacrosse coach and teacher Andre Dattero — another of Tommy’s friends — said from his home in New Hampshire.

Kaelyn also enjoys being around the players, calling them “like my family.”

“She’s like a part of the team at this point,” senior midfielder James Gorman said. “… She’s always cheering for us, smiling, staying positive.”

Junior long stick midfielder Alex Burmeister sees someone who takes the results to heart.

“She’s at every game,” he said. “The losses are kind of her losses as well. She takes it very serious.”

Shea Alazraki sees inspiration.

“I admire the fact that she’s so strong,” the senior middie said. “I think it really helps our team. It’s kind of like a nice memory to know that we always have to go out there and work hard because you never know what could happen.”

All this lacrosse time with her father is so meaningful to her.

“I look up to him and he’s always there,” she said. “I love my dad.”

These moments are so meaningful to Tommy, too.

“I love it,” he said, standing now in the fading sun after the Riverhead game. “It’s awesome. This is quality time we get to spend together.”

Kaelyn was standing next to him. Another day with each other. No better win than that.