Son doesn't want pictures of him on Mom's Facebook page
DEAR AMY: My mother has been using Facebook more frequently in the past few months, and I think that's fine. Unfortunately, the majority of the pictures she posts are of me. Her profile and cover photos are of me. I am not her "friend" on Facebook, but if I look up her name, I see dozens of photos of me all over her page. I really don't want her plastering my picture everywhere, especially if her privacy settings are weak and anyone has access to the photos. My personal page is very private, and I only have friends that I actually know on my page. I have asked her to take down many of the photos but she refuses (or lies to me and says she did). I understand that she wants to post pictures for family to see, but many times she does it just to show off and brag. I don't feel comfortable when I look up her page on Facebook and all I see is my face attached to her name. Will she ever respect my wishes? Or because she is my parent does she "own" images of me? Am I overreacting? I am legally an adult. What should I do?
-- Technically Frustrated
Only 25¢ for 5 months
DEAR AMY: My mother has been using Facebook more frequently in the past few months, and I think that's fine. Unfortunately, the majority of the pictures she posts are of me. Her profile and cover photos are of me. I am not her "friend" on Facebook, but if I look up her name, I see dozens of photos of me all over her page. I really don't want her plastering my picture everywhere, especially if her privacy settings are weak and anyone has access to the photos. My personal page is very private, and I only have friends that I actually know on my page. I have asked her to take down many of the photos but she refuses (or lies to me and says she did). I understand that she wants to post pictures for family to see, but many times she does it just to show off and brag. I don't feel comfortable when I look up her page on Facebook and all I see is my face attached to her name. Will she ever respect my wishes? Or because she is my parent does she "own" images of me? Am I overreacting? I am legally an adult. What should I do?
-- Technically Frustrated
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Facebook seems to have created a reverse metric in how generations use it.
Generally speaking, those from your generation, who grew up sharing on social media, seem to have grown more circumspect about how they conduct themselves on Facebook, while adults in your mother's and grandparents' generation don't seem to have caught on.
However, realistically you cannot do anything about this, other than avoid your mother's omniscient camera at family events (by the way, she "owns" all of the photos she takes, even if they are of you).
You should tell her, "Mom, this is an incredible breach of my privacy, and I've asked you to stop. This is disrespectful and you either don't get it, or you don't care." After that, avoid her lens and stop checking her page.