Couples use The Knot, Zola, other cash funds for house down payments

To celebrate their nuptials last November, Jenny and Simon Brunton decided to make their wedding registry a little different.

They found a poem online and posted it to their wedding website, so they could explain their decision to their friends and family.

"We know it's not tradition, it's not the way it's done. Instead of something off our registry, we'd like to have a little fun," the poem began.

It continued: "Our apartment is full of all the things a couple could require, and so a honeymoon/future home is something we desire. If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift towards our honeymoon/future home would really make our day!"

Using The Knot, a wedding planning website that allows couples to create and aggregate their registries, the Bruntons asked guests for monetary gifts to put toward purchasing a home, rather than physical gifts to fill up that home. They set up a separate fund that would go toward their honeymoon expenses.

I think there is also pressure from generations of families that it's tradition to do a registry, and I just felt like it didn't fit what we needed.

— Jenny Brunton

"I feel like half the time, people buy you these things and it's like, where do you even put it, and are we going to use it a year from now?" said Jenny Brunton, 28, who works as the sales manager at a Garden City restaurant. "Things change. I think there is also pressure from generations of families that it's tradition to do a registry, and I just felt like it didn't fit what we needed."

Using websites like The Knot, along with Zola and Honeyfund, brides and grooms can add a cash fund to their wedding registry. On The Knot, the fund can be added as an option for guests, alongside a list of gifts from various stores, or used on its own, like the Bruntons did.

The Knot launched this feature in 2017. The website offers pre-named funds ("New Home Fund," "Honeymoon Fund" and "Home Appliances" are a few options) or couples have the option to name the fund themselves.

According to their own national data, the share of couples on The Knot utilizing new home funds on their wedding registry has increased 62% since 2018. Now, almost 20% of couples registered on The Knot are requesting that guests contribute to their down payment for their first home.

Esther Lee, deputy editor of The Knot, is based in Philadelphia and went through the home-buying process in 2022.

"I didn't realize there were so many different facets," Lee said, "with surprise costs and things that come along the way, the biggest being the down payment. I realized, unless you're educated about the home-buying process, many people aren't dialed into that standard 10-25% that they're putting down, which in the context of Long Island, is a significant amount."

"Unless you're educated about the home-buying process, many people aren't dialed into that standard 10-25% that they're putting down, which in the context of Long Island, is a significant amount."

— Esther Lee, deputy editor of The Knot

Credit: Barrie Tovar Photography

The average couple cannot always swing that, she added. "So to have that support from loved ones is such a benefit, especially as they're passing the threshold of one milestone, it actually propels them toward that next one."

On The Knot, couples link their bank account to their registry to receive funds directly, with a 2.5% credit card fee to the gift giver. For Long Island couples with cash funds included in their wedding registry on The Knot, 24% have dedicated new home funds for their 2024 weddings.

Monique Hamilton, who runs Monique Hamilton Events, a company that primarily plans weddings, said lots of couples are shifting their priorities when it comes to wedding gifts.

"People are getting married a little bit older, people are not doing what was done in the past in terms of living at home with mom and dad," said Hamilton, whose company is based in Nassau County. "They're living on their own, or a lot of couples are living together prior to getting married. So I think what people are asking for has shifted, as a result of those changes."

"People are getting married a little bit older, people are not doing what was done in the past in terms of living at home with mom and dad... So I think what people are asking for has shifted, as a result of those changes."

— Monique Hamilton, of Monique Hamilton Events

Credit: Linda McQueen Photography

The decision to focus on a new home fund for their wedding seemed clear to Brunton, she said.

"At the time, my husband and I were living in a really small basement apartment," Brunton said. "And we were trying to think of things that we needed that I could put on the registry, but at the time being in a small apartment, we already had everything we needed at this given time."

The couple moved from their Bethpage apartment into Jenny Brunton's parents' house in Levittown, to save additional money for their forever home.

"We're not looking right now," she said. "We just know whatever house we're going to buy first is going to be something we can't necessarily afford, and we'd just have to take a huge fixer-upper."

They might start with a condo or townhouse before looking for something more permanent, Brunton added.

"We just figure if we start off small, with a condo, at least it's temporary and we still own something," she said. "Then in the future when we're hopefully in a better financial position, we can buy a house in an area we desire to grow in."

Looking back, the fund is so much better... When we want to go and buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need at a later date.

— Jenny Brunton

Reflecting on her wedding one year ago, Brunton is glad that she and her husband created a house fund instead of asking for other gifts.

"Looking back, the fund is so much better," she said. "We have the money that we made sitting in savings, and when we want to go and buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need at a later date."

Hamilton said brides and grooms may get pushback for not opting for a conventional registry, but weddings (and the housing market) are simply not the same as they were decades ago.

"I think it's important for people to understand that some of the traditional norms are kind of changing, and that's OK," she said. "It's OK that a couple wants to do things their way."

By Rachel Weiss

rachel.weiss@newsday.com@RachMWeiss

Rachel Weiss joined Newsday in 2016. As a real estate/living multimedia reporter, Rachel writes feature stories and contributes to and appears in on-camera video packages. She was the lead reporter on Newsday’s LI Acts of Kindness series.