Carol Leifer talks about her book, Jerry Seinfeld, Carol Burnett

Emmy Award-winning comedian and East Williston native Carol Leifer cut her comedy teeth on Long Island. With her new book, "How to Write a Funny Speech … for a Wedding, Bar Mitzvah, Graduation & Every Other Event You Didn’t Want to Go to in the First Place" (Chronicle Books, $16.95), she joins forces with comedy writer Rick Mitchell for a step-by-step guide to getting your own standing ovation.

She spoke to Newsday over the phone about why fear of public speaking can be a superpower, how to write a joke (even if you aren’t funny) and why Long Island is such fertile ground for comedy gold.
 

Your book talks a lot about the fear of public speaking. Why is that so scary and why are you and Rick, as comedians, the perfect people to write a book about this?

Most people’s greatest fear is speaking in front of large groups of people. A comedian’s greatest fear is not talking in front of large groups of people! The approval and disapproval of an audience is terrifying. Most people aren’t used to being in the spotlight and understandably they are trepidatious about it. One of the reasons Rick and I wanted to write this book is because it really isn’t as hard as people think to write a funny speech. In this book, we take away a lot of the fear by giving readers a step-by-step approach.

You are an Emmy and Golden Globe winning TV writer and stand-up comedian and yet in this book you talk about how your own fear of public speaking never went away.

I don’t think it ever gets easy. Even now as a stand-up comedian, I’m always a little nervous and this is completely normal. For me, the nervousness is kind of an adrenalin. It is like a five-hour energy drink that is good for my performance. When I first started, I was petrified. Rick and I liken speeches to stand-up, which is basically like giving a speech every night, with a beginning, middle, and end, and you have to be aware of the audience and crowd you are talking to. People probably give two or three speeches in their lives, so don’t be afraid of the nervousness. It makes perfect sense.

Can you give us an example of one of your steps?

One of the biggest tips we give is to keep your speech five minutes or under. People think that the more you care about someone, the longer your speech should be. This is a bad road to take. The other thing we do to make people less nervous is remind them that the bar is set pretty low. You are a regular person. A lot of people in the audience will be thinking, "Thank goodness it wasn’t me up there." Knowing that will take the fear factor away. Sometimes people will drink to help with the fear, but that is another one of our important rules: have a drink, sure, but not seven!

How did you and Rick come up with the idea for this book?

I credit the horrible Writers’ Strike. We were sitting together having coffee because we are buddies. We talked about an affair where someone gave a horrible speech and we agreed that it isn’t really that difficult to put a good one together. We figured, if we give people step-by-step instructions, maybe we are doing this for the public good, because people wouldn’t have to suffer through more terrible speeches! And there is nothing worse than a terrible speech that is then recorded, so you are mortified to see it on YouTube. We realized we were onto something that we could work on while also honoring the strike.

Most people think humor just comes naturally, but you show the arc of how a joke gets revised and comes into being. Can you talk about why this is a book for a reader who might not think of themselves as naturally funny?

If a person is thinking they aren’t naturally funny, they are the perfect reader for this book. A lot of times, people who think they are funny actually tell the worst jokes. Most people are not funny, and even comedians have to do a certain amount of work to make sure their funny is coming through to people. We felt that if readers follow our steps, we are confident that they will not only come up with something funny, but also heartfelt. And this book is also perfect for lazy people — we have templates! You can plug in your details like Madlibs.

Why should people not just ask AI to write their speech?

AI is not funny. Never has been. The personal is really the gold with speeches. When you speak about the celebrant, you are the only person who has this relationship with the person and that sets your speech apart. If you want to write a pamphlet about eczema for a dermatology office? A trip itinerary? Sure. But don’t ever use AI for something personal.

How did growing up on Long Island impact your comedy?

There are so many Long Island comedians because when you grow up on LI you are always kind of an outsider from Manhattan. This gives you a certain perspective — you are always a bit of an outsider, which is a great position for comedy. I met so many amazing comedians on the island; [Jerry] Seinfeld and I both went to Queens College and played in places like The East Side Comedy Club in Huntington, which is closed now but was my favorite. I have such an affinity for Long Island and couldn’t have grown up in a better place.

Your foreword is by the amazing Carol Burnett. How did you swing that?

She is a comedy hero to me. I grew up listening to "The Carol Burnett Show" and loving it. She was definitely one of my inspirations to get into comedy, so to get to know her and being in her presence is such a joy. I wrote for Carol Burnett for her [show's] 50th anniversary and 90th birthday specials, so I got to know her well from that and now my wife and I and Carol and her husband are friends. For her to write the foreword was a dream.