Mel B details her 2014 suicide attempt in upcoming memoir

In her upcoming memoir, Spice Girls singer and "America's Got Talent" judge Melanie "Mel B" Brown details her aborted suicide attempt in December 2014.

Staring at herself in a mirror of a rented house in London, after returning from a dinner with then-husband Stephen Belafonte, Brown began ingesting aspirins, she recalls in excerpts published over the weekend in the British tabloid The Sun. "As each pill goes into my mouth," the singer wrote, "I ask myself: 'Are you sure?' And I take another one. Ten, 20, 50, 100. 'Are you sure?' . . . One hundred and 20. 'Are you sure?' 150. 'Are you sure?' "

Alleging that she had an abusive marriage with the film producer, Brown, 43, wrote that she felt then that her "life is a mess and I want out. . . . Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family. I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen. A man who after ten years of marriage now had a library of sex tapes that could — as we both well knew — ruin my career and destroy my family.” It would be more than two years before Brown filed for divorce in March 2017, shortly before the couple's 10th anniversary. The dissolution of their marriage was finalized that December.

Belafonte has denied the abuse allegations.

In the throes of her suicide attempt, she wrote, Brown thought of her children: daughters Phoenix, now 19, with first husband Jimmy Gulzar; Angel, 11, with actor-comedian Eddie Murphy; and Madison, 7, with Belafonte.

"I wrote frantic, disjointed notes for Phoenix," Brown recalled, adding, "It was going to be up to her to get my other little girls, Angel and Madison, to Leeds where they could all live with my mum." But as she took her 200th pill, "I knew I didn't want to go anywhere. 'Melanie! What the [expletive] are you doing? Get a grip!' Suicide was not the answer. I had to make my life count. I had to get to a hospital. I had to get those pills out of my stomach before anything happened."

She remembered little after that, other than becoming bruised by throwing herself against the room's jammed door. Somehow reaching a hospital, she learned she had damaged her kidneys and liver. Phoenix was there, enraged at her mother attempting to take her own life.

As well, Brown wrote, "Every one of the Spice Girls tried to contact me. I couldn't speak to them. I wasn't ready, and I was too ashamed.”

Her book, "Brutally Honest," comes out Nov. 27.