Anti-Valentine’s Day movies to stream if you’re not looking for romance
Sappy cards (barf), hard heart candies (eww) and overpriced dinners (no thanks) — Valentine’s Day can be terrible.
Bowing out of the holiday is a valid option, whether you’re single, going through a breakup or just dislike hearts, glitter and everything else the day brings.
Survive Feb. 14 by staying under the covers with a bucket full of ice cream and one of these absolutely, definitely, not-at-all romantic movies that are available to rent or stream for free.
‘The Loft’ (2014)
Credit: Universal Pictures
A movie about five married men who share a secret penthouse where they all cheat on their significant others doesn't exactly give off any warm and fuzzy vibes. Add a murder into the mix and you'll forget about romance quickly. Now streaming on Netflix.
‘The Perfect Guy’ (2015)
Credit: Dan McFadden / Sony
Leah (Sanaa Lathan) and Carter (Michael Ealy) look like the perfect couple ... but looks are deceiving. Watch this movie with the lights on -- there are a few scenes with Ealy creeping around the house and hiding in tight spaces. Now available on demand with a Verizon subscription.
‘Fatal Attraction’ (1987)
Credit: Paramount Pictures
In a one-night stand gone terribly wrong, a New York City lawyer (Michael Douglas) learns that some attractions can be literally ... well, fatal. The thriller will keep you off Tinder and other dating apps long enough to make it through the holiday. Now available to stream on Hulu or Starz.
‘The Girl on the Train’ (2016)
Credit: DreamWorks Pictures
Emily Blunt is Rachel, a seemingly unstable alcoholic who can't seem to get over her ex-husband. The flick is full of relationships that'll make you thankful you're single. Available on demand with an Optimum subscription or through Showtime Anytime.
‘500 Days of Summer’ (2009)
Credit: Chuck Zlotnick
Love is messy and cruel. Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) knows that all too well. He spends 500 days pining after a girl who (spoiler) doesn't love him back. Watch on HBO Go.
‘The Boy Next Door’ (2015)
Credit: Universal Pictures
Jennifer Lopez stars as a teacher who has an affair with her son's teenage friend who happens to live next door. What starts out steamy turns incredibly violent and gory. Available through FXNow.
‘How to Be Single’ (2016)
Credit: Warner Bros. / Barry Wetcher
Stay far away from Dakota Johnson's actual Valentine's flick ("Fifty Shades") and opt to stream this one instead. Rebel Wilson adds the comedy you need on such a terrible day. Plus, it doesn't have one of those typical, predictable endings. Now available through Cinemax's MaxGo streaming service.
‘Hardcore Henry’ (2015)
Credit: STX Entertainment
Henry thinks he's defending his wife -- a beautiful blonde who brings him back from the dead in a laboratory. In reality (or whatever comes close to reality in this action flick), she's a conniving liar who's working for the enemy. Available to rent via Amazon Instant Video and for free with a Showtime subscription.
'Heathers' (1988)
Credit: BPI Digital Photo
This dark comedy follows four teenage girls -- Veronica and three others named Heather-- in a clique at an Ohio high school. When a rebellious new student, an outsider named J.D., pulls a gun on two jocks, Veronica finds herself infatuated with him. However, things quickly turn sour when J.D. involves her in a string of murders. Now streaming on Hulu.
'My Bloody Valentine' (2009)
Credit: Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Any anti-Valentine's Day binge wouldn't be complete without a campy horror movie based on the holiday. "My Bloody Valentine" stars Jensen Ackles as an inexperienced coal miner named Tom Hanniger who caused an accident that puts a man into a coma. A year later, on Valentine's Day, that same man wakes up and murders 22 people with a pickax before dying. Tom, still haunted by the past, returns home only to find a pickax-wielding killer is once again terrorizing the town. Available to stream on Amazon Prime.
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