Ask the clergy: Does godparent role end?

The concept of being a godparent, common in some religions, is becoming more of a universally accepted practice. Traditionally, godparenting is about a child's religious upbringing. But it sometimes has been defined as the person who would care for the child if something happens to the parents. No matter how it is defined, when does this big responsibility end?

The Rev. William Brisotti, Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal R.C. Church, Wyandanch:

It never ends. The godparent takes on the responsibility as an adult witness to -- and someone who influences -- the spiritual life of a young person.

I think all adults should be good examples for children growing up. The godparent has taken on the formal responsibility for one particular child. The official godparent aspect may end at a certain time, but the relationship between the two should continue. There are a lot of things that young people go through.

In general, I try to instill into adults that the whole family, even older brothers and sisters, have a responsibility to younger ones. We are responsible to teach the young what is important -- and what is not important -- in life.

For parents, after a point, their responsibilities to their children change. A mother is always a mother, even after a child becomes an adult. Her role just changes. It is the same with the godparent.

I remember a Lutheran minister saying once that he doesn't just see his adult children as children, but as brothers and sisters in faith. As godparents, we must realize our relationships change as well. In truth, all of us should be unofficial godparents.

Brother Eric Michael, guardian, Little Portion Friary, Mount Sinai:

I'm godparent to my younger brother's three children.

The godparent is supposed to look after them and make sure they're raised in the church properly. Traditionally, a godparent also is supposed to physically take care of the godchildren if the parents died. It is a little more vague nowadays. Initially, godparents were common in the Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican churches.

I don't think that one's responsibilities as a godparent ever officially end. It depends upon how close the relationship is with the godchildren, but I think godparents should have more than just religious responsibilities. When I lived near my family in Chicago, I would take my godchildren out to eat, to cultural events, to church, to museums. I felt it was my responsibility to broaden their experiences and opportunities. Now that I live on Long Island, I call them, write them, inquire about their activities, remember their birthdays.

Rather than a godparent's responsibility ending, it just changes. As they get older, I expect to help them become more well-rounded individuals. And, when I'm elderly, I expect my role as godparent will be to continually have them in my prayers.

Father Peter Garry, St. Patrick's Catholic Church, Southold:

The relationship ends only when either the godchild or the godparent dies. The godparents are expected to work to keep the Christian faith alive through that child.

I still have my godmother, who is my remaining living aunt, and I've been a priest for 44 years. I'm still lucky enough to have her.

There are issues such as location, where the relationship remains alive in theory, but they lose touch. Even as a priest, I am a godparent to my oldest nephew, but had someone stand in as proxy for the ceremony because I also was conducting the ceremony.

I actually have people who come in and for one reason or another want to know if they can have new godparents. No, you can't trade someone in for a new one.

Does your job as a godparent change as the child grows older? Yes, if your godchild is 40 years old and doing well and following the faith, your job is to take pride in him or her.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman, Congregation Tifereth Israel, Glen Cove:

The concept of the godparent does not really exist within Judaism. While it is the parents' role to facilitate a child's education, in the event that something happens to the parents, then the larger community is responsible. That communal obligation never ends. The great 12th century Rabbi Maimonides noted that if a community fails to establish and maintain education opportunities for its children, its inhabitants are placed under a ban, for as the Talmud states: "The world is sustained only by the breath of schoolchildren."

During a brit (circumcision ceremony), the child is placed on the lap of an elder or other individual, known as the sandak. This person, often a grandparent, may be unofficially honored as a role model, or godparent, but this is simply an honorary title.

Indeed, not only does Judaism stress personal responsibility for study, education and ethical inquiry, but also places that permanent obligation firmly on the entire community. Judaism holds, in accordance with the famous saying, that "It takes a village to raise a child." In some way, it is the community at large that assumes the role of godparent.