Long Island birthday party costs surge with push for trendy celebrations

The birthday party pressure is on.

Every year across Long Island, parents dream up ideas for celebrations, and they say they feel the heat when it comes to trying to stand out from the crowd and the burn when it costs hundreds of dollars for a party that’s typically over in 90 minutes to two hours.

"I totally feel like it’s crazy," says Melissa DeTurris, 43, a medical biller from West Islip. With four children ages 11 to 23, she’s hosted — and taken her children to — her share of birthday events.

"Especially on Long Island, there is this unspoken pressure to be new and innovative and ahead of the curve," says Jenn Simonetti, sales and event manager at United Skates of America in Massapequa, where a roller-skating party starts at $356.80 for 10 children with each additional child costing $35.68. Even at a traditional venue like a roller rink, there's a need to stay current with novelties like a Taylor Swift-themed skating party complete with pink heart sunglasses or a Barbie-themed option with a Barbie doll box that guests stand in and take photos as if they are the toy, Simonetti says.

Families are seeking a high-level of entertainment and service and an all-inclusive experience where all they have to do is bring the cake, she says.

"It becomes like a mini event for the kids," says Jon Bihn, owner of Urban Air Trampoline and Adventure Park in Dix Hills, where 50 to 60 birthday parties occur every weekend.

Parents experience their children invited to other children's birthday parties and want to match it, Bihn says. "I wouldn't say they want do outdo each other, but they say, 'I want to do this, too. I want to do this for my kid.' You know how the Island is." Parties start at $599 at Urban Air, but with add-on options, the average family spends $800, Bihn says.

Here's how five Long Island families have handled their most recent birthday parties, and rounded estimates of what they spent:

Mila Zis, 3

 MEET THE FAMILY Marina Zis, 39, a medical professional, Leo Zis, 37, a programmer, and children Maya, 4, and Mila, 3. They live in Oceanside.

MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY Third birthday celebration for Mila in March at Five Star Sports Academy in East Rockaway

The Zis girls have had parties at Once Upon a Sundae in Rockville Centre, at White Post Farms in Melville, and, most recently, Five Star Sports Academy in East Rockaway. The latter was Mila’s first "real" birthday party, Marina Zis says, because she’s in preschool and so Zis invited the entire class. The party included time in the gym and pizza and drinks for the children in a party room.

"I use the Oceanside Moms group on Facebook to gauge moms’ experiences when I have birthday parties," Zis says. "People have a lot to say. You really can’t go wrong on Long Island, there’s just so many different options for different age groups."

Zis says she likes to keep party expenses between $400 and $700 but did once spend $1,000 on a party. "I don’t want to do that again," she says.

One of her favorite parties, she says, was one she hosted at White post Farms. "It was the most memorable, with the animals," she says; the children got to feed them and take pony rides. She also liked the Once Upon a Sundae party because the children helped to make ice cream and then got to make a stuffed animal that they placed a little heart inside.

Zis says she likes to have a party at a venue because it’s easier than having one at home. "I really liked that I didn’t have to do much," she says. "I think it’s totally worth it not to have the headache of planning anything."

She says she’s not even convinced it’s pricier than doing it yourself once you add up the costs for food and entertainment that a parent would have to book. She tried that, she says, for a 2-year-old birthday party during which she hired characters dressed as Olaf and Elsa from "Frozen." "In the end," she says, "it always ends up being the same price or even more."

Bobby Jones, 10

MEET THE FAMILY Angela Jones, 53, an office manager, and her son, Bobby, 10. They live in Hempstead.

MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY 10th birthday for Bobby at Empire Adventure Park at Samanea New York  in Westbury

Bobby has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum, so that factors into Jones’ decisions about where to host his birthday parties. "I really want my child to feel comfortable where he is," she says. Having a winter birthday complicates the options more because you can’t host it in a backyard or a park, which she says she thinks would be more cost effective.

For Bobby’s eighth birthday, Jones enlisted the leader of Bobby’s social skills group As Burgers Go  to host a sensory birthday party with interactive games and crafts for seven children. His ninth birthday celebration was a bowling party at Bowlero in Mineola. For birthday number 10, Bobby wanted to go to Empire Adventure Park at Samanea New York in Westbury, where he’d been before for open play sessions.

"Bobby’s an active child. He wants to move around," Jones says. "This was my first time having a larger event. I had 10 kids, neurotypical and neurodiverse children." They played trampoline dodgeball, tackled the bounce house, climbed in a play area and played an interactive video-type game projected onto the floor. The party included pizza, drinks, decorations and cake in a designated party room as well as a host.

"Even though it is a lot of money, there was a lot to offer. The host was great. He kept the kids moving from activity to activity. We changed activities every 15 minutes," Jones says. "The kids had a ball. It was absolutely worth it because they had such a fantastic time."

Julianna DeTurris, 11

MEET THE FAMILY Melissa DeTurris, 43, a medical biller, and children Salvatore, 23, Jonathan, 20, Anthony, 15, and Julianna, 11. They live in West Islip.

MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY Julianna’s 11th birthday in November at Just Escape in Massapequa

"I went looking around for something different that no one else has ever done," says Melissa DeTurris. When she found Just Escape, Julianna was on board. "I decided to have it there because I like solving mysteries," Julianna says.

DeTurris says she tried doing backyard parties for her sons, but that they wound up even more expensive once she factors in food, decorations and entertainment. And then there’s all the setup and cleanup work.

She says she thinks parents splurge on birthday events for their children "just to have a good memory and make the kids happy." She says she’s hoping the birthday parties peter out when Julianna, who is in fifth grade, gets to middle school next year. And she’s hoping that when it’s time for Julianna’s Sweet 16, she can talk her into a big trip with one friend instead of a party.

Remee Conklin, 3

MEET THE FAMILY Danielle Conklin, 36, a teacher, and Mitch Conklin, 37, an automotive technician, and their daughters, Eleanor, 6, and Remee, 3. They live in Mastic Beach.

MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY Remee’s third birthday in November at Holistic Play School at The Shoppes at East Wind in Wading River

Remee Conklin wanted a farm animal theme for her 3rd birthday, and even through it was too cold outdoors to have the party at an actual farm, she still got what she wanted during her party at Holistic Play School in Wading River, says her mother, Danielle Conklin.

The children played with shaving cream farms — the shaving cream was colored green for grass and brown for mud and the kids used toy farm animals that they washed off in a container of water afterward. A corn feeding station had animal themed jars, and the children read cards at each animal to tell them how many scoops of real corn to feed into the animal's "mouth." 

"All the activities allowed them to do and explore," says Conklin. "It was just really messy and fun and really immersive." Conklin says she chose the venue because it follows the let-kids-lead philosophy as Remee’s preschool. And because, "They do the cleaning, they provide the fun," she says. Conklin says she also liked that the Holistic Play School only does one birthday party at a time. 

Conklin’s older daughter has an August birthday, which allows for more flexibility and potentially less expense — their backyard becomes the entertainment. They have a swimming pool, swing set and trampoline, and they order pizza. They do have to contend with unpredictable weather — one year they had to put up a few tents, she says.

A backyard party costs closer to $300, she says. Unless, of course, families hire entertainment. One year, the Conklins paid for Elsa and Anna impersonators from "Frozen" to come to the house, and that party for their older daughter, Eleanor, cost closer to $600, she says. "It was her last birthday as an only child, so we went a little bit crazy," Conklin says.

Madison Vuong, 10

MEET THE FAMILY Victoria Vuong, 43, a medical doctor, and Minh-Chi Vuong, 50, a server, and their children, Joshua, 13, and Madison, 10. They live in Hicksville.

MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY Madison’s 10th birthday party on March 15 at Urban Air Trampoline and Adventure Park in Dix Hills

Victoria Vuong chose Urban Air Trampoline and Adventure Park in Dix Hills because it’s a relatively new venue for birthday parties. "We try to switch places every time to try something new," she says.

She invited Madison’s whole class, plus other friends from her past years, and 13 children (including Madison’s older brother) played laser tag and trampoline dodgeball. She spent $599 for 10 guests, plus $60 for three extra. They rode on the venue’s zip lines and challenged themselves on the Ninja warrior-style setup, Vuong says.

Adding extras boost the base cost of a party, she says. "I rented a room, that’s an extra charge" ($100). She added extra pizza and drinks ($104). "It does get expensive, but I did extra because I wanted to feed the adults," she says. She also spent $40 for cotton candy, plus tax and 20% tip for the venue's party host and separately spent $65 for goodie bags and $70 for two cakes.

With her now teenage son, they’ve transitioned to taking a couple of friends with Joshua to an indoor water park for the day, for instance. And this year, "he just wants a new computer," Vuong says.

Vuong says she thinks the pandemic ramped up the quest for special birthday celebrations. "I feel like during COVID they missed so much. We’re just making up for it," she says.

By Beth Whitehouse

beth.whitehouse@newsday.comBethWhitehouse1

Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and great things to do with the kids on Long Island. She’s been a Newsday editor and shared a 1997 Newsday staff Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the crash of TWA Flight 800.