Saying 'I do'? 1-day wedding officiant permit cuts cost, hassle
Reanna Armellino and Hazen Cuyler hosted a wedding ceremony and reception at The Fox Hollow last August, a few days after a paid officiant married them in a private ceremony. Credit: Dreamlife Photos/Angelo Ghislandi
Christmas music playing and thoughts of wedding planning hanging in the air, Lynsey Louden settled in for dinner with her fiance, sister and cousin. The group had tabled an earlier discussion about how Louden’s cousin, Dan Kiernan, could legally officiate her wedding to Michael Wieber on Long Island in June.
Around a wooden table in a two-level Brooklyn apartment, the foursome shared a pizza pie, an arugula salad and mozzarella sticks. All was calm, and some were scrolling.
And then they saw it: a social media post announcing new legislation that would allow a non-ordained individual to obtain a one-day permit to officiate a specific wedding in New York State.
“We were so happy,” said Louden, who had been looking for a way to include Kiernan in the wedding ceremony.
Signed into law by Gov. Kathy Hochul on Dec. 28 with one amendment, the legislation is expected to take effect in late March. Applications will be processed by city and town clerks, whose offices also issue marriage licenses. There will be a $25 fee associated with the permit application, the governor’s office said.
Currently, weddings in New York State can legally be officiated by judges, members of the clergy and some elected officials. The legality of weddings officiated by friends and family certified online has often come into question — sometimes many years later, in the midst of divorce or other legal proceedings — said the bill’s sponsor, former Assemb. Sandy Galef.
Galef, who is retired as of this month, represented the 95th Assembly District in Westchester and had been working on the legislation for nearly two decades, she estimated. Her enthusiasm for the bill comes from a deep concern that couples might find out in times of conflict or stress that their marriage is not legally recognized.
“The problem is, since they put together our laws back many, many years ago about marriage, they didn’t realize that there were going to be these internet ministers, or internet religions, and they have just popped up all over the place,” Galef said. “People are getting married by some of the craziest internet sites; and I’m a minister on a whole bunch of them. I did it to see how easy it was to become a minister.”
Among the complications a marriage that is not legally recognized can bring are the loss of health benefits through a spouse’s insurance and financial discrepancies, Galef added.
For Louden, 29, originally from North Babylon, the legislation provided a well-timed solution to a problem she had been trying to solve.
“For our situation it just really worked out perfectly, and it’s allowing us to have someone really important to be a part of our special day,” she said.
The $25 permit is also well below what it would cost to hire an outside officiant. Options she and Wieber, 35, of Westhampton, considered would have meant spending hundreds of dollars.
“For a bride on Long Island, the prices are crazy as it is,” she said.
Reanna Armellino and her husband, Hazen Cuyler, both in their 30s, paid an officiant to marry them in a quick, private ceremony on Brighton Beach on a weekday in August. The weekday rate was more reasonable than the weekend pricing, Armellino explained, and the attendees were limited to the couple, the officiant and a photographer.
A few days later, a friend unofficially officiated the 100-person wedding that the couple’s friends and family attended at The Fox Hollow in Woodbury. But it took Cuyler time to feel good about that plan, knowing that his family was coming in from Michigan to attend the wedding.
“He felt that it somehow was unfair to them that they weren’t witnessing what was the actual marriage, and so that was a little bit of a point of contention between the two of us,” Armellino said. “But I just thought it was absurd to pay upwards of $400 to have somebody sign the paperwork on a Saturday.”
The couple, who live in Manhattan and run the theater and film company The Greenhouse Ensemble, eventually agreed that this plan worked for them. But Armellino said the complication and conflict were added stressors at an already-stressful time.
“It’s really exciting to me to hear that for future brides there’s a possibility of being able to get a permit,” she said. “Because, of course, our friend would’ve done whatever he had to do in order to be able to do the actual service, it’s just there were no options.”
Until the legislation takes effect, Galef advises couples to “double up” if they choose an officiant who has been ordained online.
“Instead of just doing that, go to your town clerk, get married with your town clerk. Do it the day before, do it the morning before. Or do it afterwards,” she said.
Once the new policy is in place, Galef said the process should be much simpler and more straightforward. It will also be convenient: Those in need of a marriage license will have to stop by the clerk’s office anyway.
“I think it will work much better and people won’t be compromised later on. Because you never know in your life what’s going to happen,” she said.
Arielle Dollinger joined Newsday as a staff reporter in 2022. Previously, she covered local and national news as a freelancer for The New York Times, Newsday and other outlets.
