Asking the Clergy: What's surprising about your role?

A spiritual leader’s job is filled by ritual and routine, but there are times when the script is flipped by a chance encounter, recalled wisdom or worldwide events such as the pandemic. This week’s clergy discuss moments in their ministry — both pleasant and unsettling — that have taken them by surprise.

The Rev. Alexander Karloutsos

Pastor, Dormition of the Virgin Mary Greek Orthodox Church of the Hamptons, in Southampton, and protopresbyter of the Ecumenical Patriarchate

My ministry began over 50 years ago in Chicago, with my wife, Xanthi, by my side. Throughout my life, she has been my conscience, curb and compass. Chicagoans of faith demonstrated a unique respect for clergy, especially Catholic priests, who are honored as a symbol of their faith.

Unfortunately, married priests were rare, and at times I was demeaned because I was with my wife and children. I would remind those who, through ignorance, judged me as immoral, that Jesus said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)

When we began serving in New York in 1974, extraordinary respect was given to those wearing religious garb — most of the time. Door attendants tipped their hats, sometimes cabbies comped the fare, and strangers often greeted me as a friend they had not yet met. There were times, however, when, because of a negative reaction to my clerical garb, I was cursed at and spit upon. All this taught me that as clergy, we are blessed to serve even when it is uncomfortable, in fact, especially so. To paraphrase St. Jacob of Saroug: Why would we expect to be comfortable members of a body whose head is crowned by thorns? 

Rabbi Ari Saks

Huntington Jewish Center

According to a popular Jewish teaching, we should always carry two quotes in our pockets — that “God created the world for us” and that “we are but dust and ashes.” This is to remind us that we need both the courage to do great things and the humility to not take ourselves too seriously.

Leaving rabbinical school, I was excited about the prospect of helping at critical life-cycle moments and teaching and preaching the values of Judaism in classes and sermons. I understood, however, that not everything I’d say or write would hit the mark. What surprised me was how hard it could be to prepare myself to not know which moments affected people the most.

Some said they cared very deeply about my High Holiday sermons, but that paled in comparison to their response to my one-on-one conversations with them after the death of a loved one. Others did not need personal time but remembered something I said or wrote about months or years earlier that made a difference in their life. I’m reminded daily that, instead of assuming I know what it means to be a good rabbi, I should just appreciate every opportunity I’m given to try my best.

The Rev. Rebecca C.L. Sheridan

Pastor, Faith Evangelical Lutheran Church, Syosset

My grandfather used to tease me that pastors get paid awfully well to work only on Sundays! That’s what a pastor’s main job is, right? To lead worship and preach on the Sabbath?

Sometimes the extra-duties-as-assigned part of serving the church is frustrating, such as when I’m trying to coax an air conditioner back to life minutes before worship begins. At other times, I’m delightedly surprised when a parishioner invites me to lunch with them at their workplace or asks me to offer the invocation at a black-tie gala.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we clergy had to dig deep into our pastoral training to offer worship and spiritual care in new ways, with integrity. I never thought I’d bless a marriage in the church two years after the couple officially married because the in-person service was delayed by pandemic restrictions. I didn’t expect a calendar full of memorial services for people two years after they died because we weren’t able to have their funeral services in the church.

Being a pastor in these times certainly hasn’t been easy, but it certainly has been a blessed surprise to serve God’s people.