Bernadette Sharkey of Mineola, mother of 12, lover of life dies at 98

Bernadette Sharkey, of Mineola, learned at a young age to take delight in the little things.

Sharkey, who with her husband, Larry, raised a dozen children, spent the rest of a long life taking that delight to heart, her family said

"She always had an open heart for those in need and an understanding of the frailty of human nature," said one of her daughters, Margaret Sharkey, of Manhattan. "She had a calmness about her . . . she was so fair-minded and always looked for the best in someone."

Sharkey died of natural causes on June 27 at the age of 98. Her husband died in 1986.

Born Bernadette McDermott on Nov. 17, 1925, in Dundalk, Ireland, Sharkey moved with her family to the United States when she was 4. She grew up in Ridgewood, Queens, attended Our Lady of Mercy Academy in Syosset on a scholarship and graduated first in her class, according to family members.

A city girl at heart, Sharkey enjoyed a professional career in post-World War II Manhattan as a secretary at Grey Advertising, where she kept bookings organized for famous photographers and models.

She met Larry Sharkey in 1947 at a dance at St. Brigid Church in Brooklyn. The couple married later that year and moved to New Hyde Park in 1950. They started a family that eventually grew to include 12 children. They moved to Mineola in 1965.

"It was daunting to raise such a huge brood, but she provided loving care and timeless lessons on goodness, character, integrity and humility," said Margaret Sharkey, the second of 12. "She was a great role model."

For daughter Tara Newton, growing up the youngest girl was "unforgettable."

"There was always someone to hang out with, and the house was full of laughter, noise, fighting, and singing," said Newton, of Floral Park. "My mom was the funniest person I ever knew. She taught us not to take life too seriously and to always remember to laugh, especially at yourself."

Bernadette Sharkey made each of her 12 children feel special and loved, even as adults.

"My husband and I always host a Christmas Eve party for my family," Newton said. "Many years ago when my children were young, she pulled me aside to tell me that I am creating special memories for them that they will remember forever."

One of Sharkey's sons, Patrick, of Mineola, and his wife, Katherine, live in a house connected to his mother's apartment and served as caregivers in her later years.

"Living closely not only allowed us to be there to support her but also provided Mom with a sense of security — that she could always count on us," Patrick Sharkey said.

His mother loved many things about her town. She "found community in Mineola," he said.

She also taught the importance of making others feel welcome, such as remembering their favorite recipes.

"Our son used to love the lemon pancakes my mother would make for Fat Tuesday," Sharkey said. "She always made sure to stop over with some just for him."

Bernadette Sharkey will also be remembered as a pious woman who was the personification of a charitable Roman Catholic, according to her daughter Margaret.

"She lived her faith every day in a simple way," she said. "She realized that the institution of the church was not perfect; what was important to her was the people who form the church."

Bernardette Sharkey was extremely well-read and always eager to learn, family members said. She loved to travel and also enjoyed walking and playing the board game Rummikub. She was also known for her sense of humor. And her homemade pies and perfectly cooked bacon, eggs and rolls on Sundays became part of family lore.

"She had an elegant style, with Champagne and chocolate high on her list of favorite things, and her teapot was bottomless," Margaret Sharkey added. "Mom loved life and didn’t want to let go. She was truly the matriarch . . . a symbol of grace, stability, wisdom, kindness and resilience."

A funeral Mass was celebrated July 3 at Church of St. Aidan in Williston Park, followed by interment at Cemetery of the Holy Rood in Westbury. Along with her daughters Margaret and Tara, and son Patrick, Sharkey is survived by daughters Anne, Bernadette, Eileen and Mary Ellen Stuart, and sons Dennis, Kieran and Laurence, as well as 17 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. Sharkey was predeceased by sons Christopher and John.