Morton Willen, former Suffolk Family Court judge, dies at 96, 18 days after wife, Mildred Willen
Former Suffolk Family Court judge Morton Willen made history in 1986 when he awarded custody of a 13-year-old to a gay father, the first ruling of its kind in New York State. Credit: Willen family
“Never give up on yourself. Be resilient. Be persistent. Have humility. There is nothing wrong with being human,” were the words that Morton Willen lived by, his family said.
The former Suffolk County Family Court judge and longtime Northport resident spent his career helping families come together while being a warm, hardworking and loving patriarch to his own family.
As a father, Willen was “fun, funny, and always interested in everything his children and grandchildren were doing,” said his daughter Liz Willen.
“As a judge, he was fair, patient and wise, who listened carefully to all sides and closely followed the law. But as a man who loved his family, he was enormously lucky in marriage, life, and where and how he lived,” she said.
Willen died of natural causes on Feb. 26 at age 96, 18 days after the death of his wife, Mildred Reich Willen, on Feb. 8. The couple would have celebrated 75 years of marriage in June.
Willen's daughter remembered her father sitting on the sofa with her mother, holding hands and listening to the music he loved most — Chet Baker, Louis Armstrong and Maria Callas.
“He had lost most of his vision, but their love for one another kept them both alive long after their health had declined,” she said.
Morton “Morty” Willen was born in the Bronx on Jan. 13, 1928, to Jewish immigrants from Poland. His parents operated an upholstery shop in the borough and a bungalow colony in the Catskills, where he met his future wife, Millie.
In his memoirs, he wrote, “We spoke, we danced … we drove to Kiamesha Lake, parked and looked at the lake, the moon, and the stars.”
The two were married in 1949 and had three children: daughters Liz Willen and Amy Spiros and son Joe Willen.
In 1946, Willen enlisted in the U.S. Army for 18 months, serving in the 24th Infantry Division in Kokura, Japan. After he graduated from the City College of New York, his uncle Benny gave him career advice: “Morty, you talk good. Be a lawyer.”
Willen attended St. John's University School of Law and practiced on Long Island for many years. He became a Suffolk Family Court judge in 1977 and, later an acting state Supreme Court justice in the matrimonial division.
“Dad loved the law and hoped that becoming a judge would be a way to best use his long experience as a matrimonial lawyer in the fairest way possible … and help families in dark times,” said Liz Willen. “He made history when he awarded custody of a 13-year-old boy to a gay father in 1986, the first ruling of its kind in New York State. He was proud of his decision.”
Willen served as a judicial hearing officer for many years after retiring. He also performed weddings for friends and family members as a justice of the peace.
In his spare time, Willen enjoyed gardening, cooking for his family and cheering on the New York Mets, Giants and Knicks. He also adored ballet, opera, jazz and the comedian Mel Brooks.
Willen's granddaughter Hannah Willen, of Northport, lived down the block from him and recalled picking vegetables in the garden with her “one-of-a-kind” grandfather.
“Grandpa Morty was warm and hilarious, always cracking jokes and making us laugh,” she said. “He deeply cared about all of his grandchildren … He asked what we were interested in, what we were doing, and he wanted to know we found meaning in life.”
Hannah Willen said her grandfather made her “feel worthy and valued in every conversation,” and among his most remarkable qualities were his “deep sense of justice, his unwavering commitment to my grandmother and his honest vulnerability.”
“He allowed us to know all parts of him, even the ones he didn’t love,” she said. “He left an impact on our family and everyone who knew him that will never be forgotten.”
In addition to his children and granddaughter, Willen is survived by seven other grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. A private burial was held; a memorial is planned for the spring. Donations in his memory may be made to the Northport VA Medical Center and the Huntington Interfaith Homeless Initiative.
“Never give up on yourself. Be resilient. Be persistent. Have humility. There is nothing wrong with being human,” were the words that Morton Willen lived by, his family said.
The former Suffolk County Family Court judge and longtime Northport resident spent his career helping families come together while being a warm, hardworking and loving patriarch to his own family.
As a father, Willen was “fun, funny, and always interested in everything his children and grandchildren were doing,” said his daughter Liz Willen.
“As a judge, he was fair, patient and wise, who listened carefully to all sides and closely followed the law. But as a man who loved his family, he was enormously lucky in marriage, life, and where and how he lived,” she said.
Willen died of natural causes on Feb. 26 at age 96, 18 days after the death of his wife, Mildred Reich Willen, on Feb. 8. The couple would have celebrated 75 years of marriage in June.
Willen's daughter remembered her father sitting on the sofa with her mother, holding hands and listening to the music he loved most — Chet Baker, Louis Armstrong and Maria Callas.
“He had lost most of his vision, but their love for one another kept them both alive long after their health had declined,” she said.
Morton “Morty” Willen was born in the Bronx on Jan. 13, 1928, to Jewish immigrants from Poland. His parents operated an upholstery shop in the borough and a bungalow colony in the Catskills, where he met his future wife, Millie.
In his memoirs, he wrote, “We spoke, we danced … we drove to Kiamesha Lake, parked and looked at the lake, the moon, and the stars.”
The two were married in 1949 and had three children: daughters Liz Willen and Amy Spiros and son Joe Willen.
'Dad loved the law'
In 1946, Willen enlisted in the U.S. Army for 18 months, serving in the 24th Infantry Division in Kokura, Japan. After he graduated from the City College of New York, his uncle Benny gave him career advice: “Morty, you talk good. Be a lawyer.”
Willen attended St. John's University School of Law and practiced on Long Island for many years. He became a Suffolk Family Court judge in 1977 and, later an acting state Supreme Court justice in the matrimonial division.
“Dad loved the law and hoped that becoming a judge would be a way to best use his long experience as a matrimonial lawyer in the fairest way possible … and help families in dark times,” said Liz Willen. “He made history when he awarded custody of a 13-year-old boy to a gay father in 1986, the first ruling of its kind in New York State. He was proud of his decision.”
Willen served as a judicial hearing officer for many years after retiring. He also performed weddings for friends and family members as a justice of the peace.
In his spare time, Willen enjoyed gardening, cooking for his family and cheering on the New York Mets, Giants and Knicks. He also adored ballet, opera, jazz and the comedian Mel Brooks.
'One-of-a-kind' grandfather
Willen's granddaughter Hannah Willen, of Northport, lived down the block from him and recalled picking vegetables in the garden with her “one-of-a-kind” grandfather.
“Grandpa Morty was warm and hilarious, always cracking jokes and making us laugh,” she said. “He deeply cared about all of his grandchildren … He asked what we were interested in, what we were doing, and he wanted to know we found meaning in life.”
Hannah Willen said her grandfather made her “feel worthy and valued in every conversation,” and among his most remarkable qualities were his “deep sense of justice, his unwavering commitment to my grandmother and his honest vulnerability.”
“He allowed us to know all parts of him, even the ones he didn’t love,” she said. “He left an impact on our family and everyone who knew him that will never be forgotten.”
In addition to his children and granddaughter, Willen is survived by seven other grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. A private burial was held; a memorial is planned for the spring. Donations in his memory may be made to the Northport VA Medical Center and the Huntington Interfaith Homeless Initiative.
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