Seek help for friend who drinks, cuts

DEAR AMY: I am a college student. I've been very worried about a friend who used to be "addicted to alcohol" (his words) and, for a while, stopped drinking. He's drinking again and now wants to get drunk every weekend. He seems to drink to forget how unhappy he is. He told me the other night that he purposely cut himself, something he apparently used to do years ago. I don't know if he can afford a therapist, and I also don't know if I'm overreacting or crossing the line.

--A Worried Friend

DEAR WORRIED: Your friend might be depressed or anxious - or a combination of the two. People sometimes attempt to "self-medicate" and deal with their emotional problems by abusing alcohol or drugs.

Cutting is a sign of anxiety and a cry for help. Your friend has been honest with you about his actions.

Visit the counseling center at school and write down a name and a phone number for him. Hand him the information and tell him, "I'm really worried about you so please make an appointment to see someone. I know you'll feel so much better if you get some help." Follow up with him. Don't pressure - but encourage him. If you think he is spiraling downward and is not seeking professional help, you should see your school's dean of student life immediately and share your concern. His parents also should be notified.

DEAR AMY: I had to laugh at your response to "Happily Talking" when you mentioned that long drives are a good way to talk to kids. Whenever my mother had a serious topic to discuss, she would wait until she was transporting me to one activity or another. I was trapped and forced to absorb her advice, rules or point of view. My teenage self hated it, but my grown-up self loves her for it.

--Happily Lectured

DEAR LECTURED: Mom (almost always) knows best.