At their new Huntington apartment, Isabelle Carbone and Ryan Meringolo split household duties down the middle. Carbone cleans, and Meringolo cooks. The couple, who work in pharmaceuticals and are in their late 20s, apply that same divide-and-conquer approach to the rent, utilities and other living expenses, all of which they split 50-50.

As they figured out how they would eventually move out of their parents' homes and into their first place together, coming to that agreement required honest discussions about their individual finances, they said. In the end, they added, the number-crunching and negotiations deepened their love.

"It's a different kind of love," Carbone said. "I would say it's not like that mooshy-gooshy, romantic-type of love. It's that stability love — you know, like, I can count on you for this, you're my rock in this, like I can depend on you for it."

Such lines of communication over finances can be new territory for couples who've just moved into their first rental, a process experts say can help bring them closer — and if they manage to save for the occasional romantic rendezvous, leave them with enough cash to splurge this Valentine's Day weekend. Still, negotiating who will pay for what can be a challenge, especially on high-cost Long Island, and might require some trade-offs. The stakes can be high for couples, whether they're married or not.

What to do first

For Long Beach real estate agent Joyce Coletti, couples should start with an unfiltered discussion of each other's credit scores. If only one has good credit, the landlord will likely want to put the lease in that person's name, said Coletti of Douglas Elliman Real Estate.

"You will be responsible for everything, you solely," Coletti said. "You don't want that. What if your partner walks out on you and your rent is $3,000 a month? If you can't pay it, it will affect your credit and the next time you go for an apartment the landlord won't take you."

That's why she advises couples with credit issues to improve any low scores first so that ultimately, once they're ready to search for an apartment, expenses can be shared equitably, down to both names being placed on the rental agreement.

"What if your partner walks out on you and your rent is $3,000 a month? If you can't pay it, it will affect your credit."

— Joyce Coletti, Douglas Elliman real estate agent

Credit: Debbie Egan-Chin

If seeing multiple rentals, bring a copy of each partner's credit score when applying for occupancy, said Jamie Pastorelli, a licensed salesperson with Signature Premier Properties in Huntington. This will limit the number of credit inquiries, which can bring down a score each time a query is made, she said. The score can either be printed out from a reporting agency's website or sometimes found on credit card statements, she added.

Then it's time for a tough talk about monthly expenses, said Ryan Barnett, a Rego Park, Queens-based registered financial adviser for New York Life with clients on Long Island. Make a budget — and stick to it, whether bank accounts are combined or separate, he said.

A Garden City native, Barnett suggested that partners go through a typical week and record cyclic expenses, from commuting costs to takeout lunch bills. Add those up for the month, and include splurges. Bank statements and credit card bills can help in the budgeting exercise by providing a snapshot of how dollars are actually being spent, he said.

"You have to be at a place to compromise a little bit here or there," he said. "And you have to understand you're a team."

"You have to be at a place to compromise a little bit here or there. And you have to understand you're a team."

—  Ryan Barnett, New York Life registered financial adviser

Credit: Courtesy Ryan Barnett

If there's a lack of communication about money, there could be unexpected problems that can throw off the budget, like missed bills, he said.

Because openness can provide a foundation for a strong relationship, consider having weekly check-in talks with one another, not just about finances but intimacy, parenting, happiness and other issues that might arise, said Kalovna Edmond, a marriage and family therapist at Heal and Grow Psychotherapy in Long Beach.

Have weekly check-in talks with one another, not just about finances but intimacy, parenting, happiness and other issues that might arise.

— Advice from Kalovna Edmond, Heal and Grow Psychotherapy marriage and family therapist

Credit: Debbie Egan-Chin

A partner who makes less money and therefore cannot contribute as much to rent, utilities and other amounts due can take care of important household responsibilities as an alternative, such as cleaning or cooking, she said. "They want to feel that they are contributing," she added.

Here's how three Long Island couples make their living arrangements work, from paying the rent to everything else.

KAYLA AND STEPHANIE MCQUILLAN

If you can't talk about your bank account to your life partner, they're not really your life partner.

— Stephanie McQuillan, of Central Islip

WHO THEY ARE

Kayla, 30, a police officer, and Stephanie, 31, a clinical research manager, are married.

WHERE THEY LIVE

The McQullians rent a third-floor, one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment at The Belmont at Eastview in Central Islip, a new rental complex on the former Central Islip Psychiatric Center site.

HOW THEY SHARE THE COSTS

The couple splits the rent, although Kayla pays a larger portion of other expenses. "My paycheck is bigger and has a lot more flexibility because I can pick up overtime," she said.

Stephanie covers groceries, electric bills and any recurring payments and also does household chores, she said. That's important to Kayla, more so than her wife paying exactly half of everything.

"I need to know that I'm coming home to calm and peace because of my line of work," said Kayla, adding, "If I didn't have her here helping me contribute to everything that happens inside of our apartment, I don't know if I'd ever be able to sleep at night."

The McQuillans are saving to start a family. Kayla's health insurance covers fertility treatments, but the couple is planning to pay for a donor, which will cost about $15,000, Stephanie said.

HOW THEY FIGURE IT ALL OUT

When they were first engaged, Stephanie struggled with being honest about her finances, she said.

"I had to learn a lot about being a partner," she said. Now, she can talk about finances without embarrassment. Kayla still asks questions, though, she said.

"I have learned that I need to ask Steph more and push her a little bit more to discuss things with me," she said.

THEIR ADVICE TO OTHERS

"Have a lot of patience with each other and be willing to compromise," said Kayla.

And, Stephanie said, be transparent. "If you can't talk about your bank account to your life partner, they're not really your life partner."

KIM ASH AND STEVE BARON

The number one reason people fight is over money, right? And I would never fight over money. It isn't worth it.

— Kim Ash

Kim Ash, 55, and Steve Baron, 63, have been dating since 2023. Ash, who works for a global consulting company, and Baron, a filmmaker, moved into their apartment Dec. 1.

WHERE THEY LIVE

The divorcees rent a one-bedroom duplex at the historic Lido Beach Towers. Partially on the fifth and sixth floors of the iconic pink building, the rental comes with a private rooftop deck overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. The complex has a pool, gym, game room, pingpong, tennis and barbecue areas. It also has pickleball, which is how they met.

HOW THEY SHARE THE COSTS

The couple divides the rent, parking, bicycles and storage, but Ash does pay a larger portion of the expenses for living together, she said. "Steve's a filmmaker, I work a corporate job," she said. "I try to be sensitive to that."

Ash said she covered the $8,500 in up-front costs to move in, and Baron paid for the $1,600 fee for movers from his nearby Long Beach apartment. Ash already had an apartment in the building, so she didn't need movers. Baron, a sports buff who likes to watch games, takes care of the cable bill. Ash said she will cover the electric bills. With groceries, "I'll go shopping and I'll pay, and he'll go shopping and he'll pay," Ash said.

It's important to communicate and not get resentful about it. That's the main thing.

— Steve Baron

HOW THEY FIGURE IT ALL OUT

"The number one reason people fight is over money, right? And I would never fight over money," said Ash. "It isn't worth it." Instead, the couple say they sought help from a therapist to deal with other issues, namely Baron's penchant for collecting and clutter. "I was willing to change," he said. "I wanted to change."

THEIR ADVICE TO OTHERS

When it comes to money, Ash said, "don't get so caught up in it." That's when issues arise, she added, "when everything's, you know, 'you owe this, and I owe this.' " That, she said, can break a relationship. Baron said: "It's important to communicate and not get resentful about it. That's the main thing."

ISABELLE CARBONE AND RYAN MERINGOLO

Make sure you're both on the same page across all facets, relationship-wise, finance-wise, whatever it may be.

— Isabelle Carbone

WHO THEY ARE

Carbone, 27, a product development manager, Meringolo, 29, a business analyst, moved in together Dec. 7. They've been dating 2½ years.

WHERE THEY LIVE

The couple is in a 980-square-foot, two-bedroom, two-bathroom unit on the third floor of an apartment building in downtown Huntington. They have a washer, dryer and a dishwasher in the apartment.

HOW THEY SHARE THE COST

Carbone and Meringolo split the rent, electric bills and groceries. They shared the cost to move into the apartment from individual savings. They take care of their own personal expenses, including cars, clothing, gaming and personal grooming. Meringolo handles his student loans himself. They share the cost of renters' insurance.

HOW THEY FIGURE IT ALL OUT

They had agreed they wouldn't move in together until they could contribute equally to the costs. With a spreadsheet, Carbone and Meringolo looked closely at their individual expenses living at home.

"We really kind of sat down and just played around in Excel and had one or two conversations mapping out what exactly we can afford," Meringolo said. Then they cut back until they could make it work. Carbone, for instance, discovered she was paying for three music subscriptions. Now she only has Spotify, for which she pays $10 a month. Meringolo has his own $10-a-month subscription to the music service and covers that himself.

Be open and realistic with each other. The most important thing is communication.

— Ryan Meringolo

THEIR ADVICE TO OTHERS

"Make sure you're both on the same page across all facets, relationship-wise, finance-wise, whatever it may be," Carbone said. "It can be tough to have those conversations, but it will inevitably bring the two people closer together and ensure a long-lasting partnership." Meringolo added: "Be open and realistic with each other. The most important thing is communication."