Amanda Beard discusses personal demons in 'In the Water' memoir

In Amanda Beard's candid tell-all, you find that the smiling, 30-year-old looking to swim in her fifth Olympics has come a long way from the generally depressed version that found fame in her teens.

Beard made her Olympics debut at age 14 during the 1996 Atlanta Games, carrying her stuffed animal, Harold, to the pool. She finished that summer with two silver medals and one gold, sparking a lucrative career.

You read, though, in "In the Water They Can't See You Cry: A Memoir," that Beard felt generally undeserving of the success she found in her teens. She discusses a battle with bulimia, drug and alcohol abuse and a history of cutting.

"I had to get a couple of little cuts in quickly," Beard wrote of her battles. "One. Two. Three. And relief."

Beard goes on to write about how her attitude in the pool depleted her self-esteem, and led her to destructive relationships.

"The perfectionist drive that made me a star athlete in the water, out of the water tore me apart," Beard wrote. "Everything was piling up my issues with swimming, the toxic atmosphere at the pool, my temper at home, my big bills, my troubles keeping up with all my added responsibilities. I felt trapped."

You find yourself feeling bad for Beard in the memoir, and in hindsight, Beard seems to feel sorry for herself, too. While "In the Water" has a few moments of laughter -- Beard's awkward teenage years and a Halloween disaster that brought "Mean Girls" to mind, for example -- for the most part, it's a gloomy look inside the Olympian's private life.

In the end, though, Beard finds light. Now married with a son, she appears to have defeated the demons that plagued her and is now in a positive mindset, aiming to make the 2012 Olympics in London.

Not lacking in dramatics, "In The Water" is an honest story of a woman who grew up too quickly, the world on her shoulders and water at her feet.

Beard will be at the Book Revue in Huntington on Thursday, April 5 at 7 p.m.