Talking with Melissa Etheridge: 'I've had quite a journey and I'm still on it'

Melissa Etheridge is known as a pint-size spitfire. Standing 5-3, the 64-year-old singer-songwriter has a reputation for performing with pure passion like a Midwestern female Bruce Springsteen.

Songs like “Come to My Window,” “I Want to Come Over” and “Like the Way I Do” tap into the raw emotion of love. While Etheridge identifies as gay, her message is universal and can be applied to any romantic situation.

More than most, Etheridge’s life has been on public display from her sexual identity to the biological father of her children [David Crosby of Crosby, Stills & Nash] to her cancer battle to the loss of her son Beckett. Through it all she has endured and somehow come out stronger.

Newsday’s David J. Criblez spoke with Etheridge prior to her April 8 show at The Paramount in Huntington.

How do you feel when fans interpret your songs in a different way than you wrote them?

That’s a blessing. If someone takes a song of mine and applies it to their own life creating their own meaning, that is what you want. You want your songs to translate. I found the more personal I would get, the more people related to my music. I always like to write personally. The best thing a song can be is something different to everyone.

Your songs are incredibly personal. Does that come easy to you or is it hard to pry all that out?

I wouldn’t say it’s easy, but I don’t have to pry it out. It’s a way to examine myself and the situations I’m in then I create art and music from that. It’s my canvas and paints. This is what I do and being personal is the most powerful way I can do it.

What is your relationship like with your hits? Sometimes established artists find them burdens that they have to play.

I’m so grateful to have songs that everyone in the crowd jumps on their feet for. It’s a blessing. Of course, playing them night after night is a small price one must pay. That’s why I tell other artists to make sure you write music you love because if you have a hit, you are going to have to play it forever so you better love it or it will drive you crazy.

You have a strong spirit that comes through in all your writing and performances. Where does that stem from?

It comes from growing up in Kansas and believing anything is possible. I’ve had quite a journey and I’m still on it. But it’s something I’m grateful for.

You have had a spotlight flashed on every part of your life both professionally and personally. How do you handle that kind of scrutiny?

It’s all just life happening to me and I’m not alone as it certainly happens to other people too. By being willing to talk about it, I have found it not only helps me but other people as well. Life is not supposed to be perfect. But knowing how I’m being watched, I need to be 100% sure about the choices I make and the things I say. I try to represent myself in a truthful way.

You are considered a dual icon in both music and the LGBTQ community. What’s it like having those roles?

I’m proud of them both. The musical one is something I strive for in my work, but the other one is very personal. I came out in 1993 and I’ve never been more grateful for something that I’ve done. It’s come back to me a million-fold from LGBTQ people who have talked to me in the last 30 years. But to be completely open, free and proud plus raising my kids in a stable household means everything to me.

What’s your next step in creativity? Where is your writing going?

It’s still very personal but I’ve changed. The things that were important to me at 27 are certainly not that important to me at 64. I’m not having a broken heart anymore or chasing anybody around. I have different thoughts about life and death as well as dreams, pain and hope. That is where I’m writing from because it’s my current reality.

You did a limited run of a one-woman show, “Melissa Etheridge: My Window,” on Broadway in 2023. What did you learn from the experience?

I learned that Broadway performers are the hardest-working people on Earth. I have great appreciation for them. I really enjoyed telling my story on stage and I feel it brought me more confidence in doing that.

What song are you most proud of writing?

If I had to pick one, it’s “Like the Way I Do.” I have to play it last in the set because I can’t follow it up with anything. It is consistently electrifying at every show no matter where I’m playing. It has never let me down.

Is there one that surprised you?

I almost didn’t put “Come to My Window” on the “Yes I Am” album [1993]. I wasn’t sure people would understand it and it was a mid-tempo average song. I was playing songs I recorded for a friend and said, “I don’t know about this one.” My friend said, “Are you crazy?”

By David J. Criblez

david.criblez@newsday.comDavidJCriblez

David J. Criblez is a reporter for Newsday's exploreLI, covering entertainment-related events from local music to stand-up comedy to festivals.