'Hart of Dixie' premise needs surgery

DRAMA PREMIERE "Hart of Dixie"

WHEN | WHERE Monday night at 9 on CW/11

REASON TO WATCH Rachel Bilson ("The OC") plays a would-be cardiothoracic surgeon. Yeah, I know, right?

WHAT IT'S ABOUT And so when spoiled California kid Summer Roberts -- I mean, ambitious New York just-minted-doctor Zoe Hart -- doesn't get the big fellowship she expected, she takes the offer of a southern small-town practitioner to come down his (quaint and dusty) way.

It's the kind of Hollywood hamlet where gowned southern belles dance in the town square, and everybody eats fried catfish, and alligators are named Burt Reynolds. And, of course, where famed football linebackers serve as mayor, and the town's hottest hottie lives right next door to Dr. Hart's crumbling shack. That's so she can spend her time "making out with the electricity-stealing buffoon from next door." (Did I mention Zoe narrates the proceedings?)

MY SAY I can't say much else about the plot because I was preoccupied fretting over Bilson's short short skirts and high high heels. What's the deal with the shoes on actresses these days? They can barely stand up, much less tromp down country trails in a snit.

But I did catch enough of "Hart of Dixie" to tell it's formula absurdity for the "princess" demographic of magical thinkers who now imagine being lifesaving doctors as well as rescued royals. Which is a whole 'nother rant I could go on.

BOTTOM LINE She even delivers a baby and talks to a gravestone. What's left?

GRADE C