Why should brides have all the fun? Grooms have begun following suit on some of the bridesmaid celebrations — including asking their groomsmen with gifts such as basketballs or cigars and taking weekend bachelor getaways to locales such as the Hamptons or Nashville.
With the added festivities comes added commitment of time and money. Across Long Island, groomsmen are finding themselves responsible for a growing number of costs to be part of a bridal party, similar to the outlay for being a bridesmaid. Nicholas Perrone, 28, an accounting supervisor from Coram, is a recent groom who also is now set to serve as a groomsmen in two other weddings. One of the grooms would like the bachelor party to be a trip out west to see the Yankees play in a different stadium, either in Colorado or California, Perrone says. He expects to spend between $1,200 and $1,800 all in on that wedding — for tuxedo, bachelor trip and gift. And, if they do travel, he’ll need to use some vacation days, he says.
Nicholas Perrone, 28, of Coram, is currently a groomsman in two upcoming weddings. Credit: Life Art Photographers
But it's worth it, groomsmen say. "It was great to be the best dressed group in the room, to be more than just a guest at the wedding," says Justin Jacob, 28, of Sayville, who works in construction. Jacob was one of the groomsmen at Perrone's wedding at Giorgio's Baiting Hollow in November.
Groomsmen often treat the groom
When Perrone chose his five groomsmen and best man, he asked them each with a personalized gift — a basketball with their name, the word groomsman and the date of Perrone’s wedding — Nov. 15, 2024.
The groomsmen formed a group chat — without Perrone — and planned a bachelor weekend based on what the best man knew Perrone wanted. "I wanted to do something local and close that wasn’t going to cost that much," Perrone says.
The guys brainstormed a two-night trip to the East End where they rented an Airbnb in Westhampton Beach and went golfing, played paintball and had a dinner out. "I didn’t have to pay for anything; everyone chipped in for me," Perrone says.
Jacob says his share of the weekend cost about $450. "For what it was, for that price, you really can’t beat it," he says.
Bachelor party the ‘hardest part’
Tony Tola, 25, an emergency medical technician from Bay Shore, married Adriana Borges, 32, a paramedic, at the Watermill Caterers in Nesconset on Sept. 29, 2024. Tola asked each of his five groomsman and the best man while presenting each with a box containing a personalized flask, small bottle of whiskey and cigar.
Logan Paticoff, right, of Commack served as best man for Tony Tola, of Bay Shore, at Tola’s wedding in Sept. 2024. Credit: Kyle Preiser
"Planning the bachelor party was probably the hardest part," says Logan Paticoff, 28, a paramedic from Commack who served as best man, especially since many of the groomsman are first responders with unusual work schedules. "Trying to find the time and trying to please everyone was hard," Paticoff says. "Getting everyone on the same page."
Paticoff, Tola and three of the groomsmen were able to make it for a several-day trip to Nashville, where they visited the Jack Daniel's distillery and listened to live music in bars along Broadway. The groomsmen covered Tola’s cost and spent about $600 each on the trip plus airfare, Paticoff says. "I covered his flight personally," Paticoff says. Tola treated the men to a Nashville "tractor tour," a party wagon that took them through Music City.
As best man, Paticoff says his job was also to keep track of all the groomsmen during the days before the wedding, ensuring they all picked up their tuxes and made sure they fit. "It was much easier than being the maid of honor," he says. "She had to organize makeup and hair. We throw on a tux and we’re ready."
'Incredible experience'
As a thank you to his groomsmen, Perrone paid for half the cost of each guy’s tuxedo for the wedding; Perrone married his Newfield High School sweetheart, Alyssa, 26, an occupational therapist.
The groomsmen rehearsed an entrance to the reception — a basketball hoop was set up and they "ran a quick little play. We threw the ball around then one of the guys made a shot. It was a really incredible experience," Jacob says.
A groomsman’s job on wedding day? "The day of the wedding for the groom is a nervous day. Keep his mind off it," Perrone says. "Bring good energy, good vibes and just have fun."
Says Tola: "Who you have in your corner really makes or breaks the day."
Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and great things to do with the kids on Long Island. She’s been a Newsday editor and shared a 1997 Newsday staff Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the crash of TWA Flight 800.
