Female yacht club commodores take charge on the North Fork and Shelter Island

It’s 9 a.m. on a steamy Monday morning in late July, and the Mattituck Yacht Club is preparing to host two days of youth sailing regattas. To the uninitiated, a quick glance around reveals minor mayhem, as kids, parents and club staff scurry across the beachfront prepping and rigging a soon-to-be-competitive fleet of about 150 sailboats.

There’s plenty to get done before the 11 a.m. start of the first race, a junior event that will see 8- to 18-year-olds negotiate a roughly 30-minute course on Peconic Bay in their single-person Opti and Laser sailing dinghies, Sunfish sailboats or Club 420 double-handed (two-person) vessels.

Taking it all in, there appear to be a lot of moving parts involved in the process. Slow down and look a little deeper, however, and two points quickly become obvious: First, despite its chaotic appearance, this is a well-choreographed operation. Second, Commodore Mary Kalich is fully in charge, and under her leadership the day’s races will start on time.

It isn’t long ago that word of a female yacht club commodore — essentially, the president — might have raised some eyebrows here on Long Island, or most anywhere else in the country, for that matter. But that’s not the case on the North Fork and Shelter Island, where four of the five yacht clubs are now headed by women.

Community and friendship

In addition to Kalich, who has been commodore at the Mattituck club for eight years, Ellen Talbot of Old Cove Yacht Club in New Suffolk, Lisa Reich of Shelter Island Yacht Club and Alyssa Constant of Orient Yacht Club are all serving as commodores of their clubs. (There is also at least one other female commodore on the Island, Sundy Schermeyer of the Westhampton Yacht Squadron.)

What has led to the rise in female commodores in this stretch? The answer, said the commodores interviewed, is likely a combination of factors leading to more opportunities for women to excel in the sailing world, including a strong local coed sailing tradition and greater female participation in junior programs and on college teams.

According to Kalich, a focus on family and kids’ programs may also encourage some women to get involved.

“Most of what we do focuses on family programs and getting kids on the water learning to sail,” said Kalich, 52, an IT consultant who owns multiple Sunfish and Lasers — and also competes in Ironman competitions. “In addition to sailing activities, lessons and regattas at our own 50-family member club, we have evening soccer games, a tie-dye night, plus other activities. It’s all about community, friendship and being on the bays at the clubs in our area.”

That’s not to say the North Fork commodores, who are all volunteers, aren’t busy or that their positions aren’t stressful. As with their counterparts at most any other yacht club, they generally interact with their club’s board of trustees and oversee committee heads to ensure everything functions efficiently and effectively across all programs, whether those be junior sailing, adult sailing, motorboating, financial affairs or the club’s social events, newsletter and website. Among other tasks, they work to bring novel ideas into discussion and implementation, help with scheduling of regattas and events, and check that junior sailors are completing appropriate sailing, boating and safety courses required for fun and competition.

For Kalich, becoming a commodore was a natural progression. She said she grew up sailing in Mattituck and attended the same junior program the club provides today before eventually becoming the club’s head sailing instructor. When her son, Mickey, started sailing at age 7, she grew even more involved, she said, holding committee, board and eventually officer positions prior to being elected commodore. Mickey, now 19, is the club’s race coach.

“I love being the commodore here,” said Kalich, who is not the first woman to hold the post, though she is the longest-serving. “I get to engage with the families, to encourage them and help them decide what the next step is for their kids in our programs, and I wanted to be in this role because I’m sharing my love for the water and sailing. Plus, I love, love, love watching the kids learn how to sail. By reaching out, we bring more people into the sport — both boys and girls. That provides opportunity for more outings so it’s a good outcome for everyone.”

‘More women sailing’

Like Kalich, Reich, commodore of Shelter Island Yacht Club, isn’t surprised to see women taking on more leadership roles within the sailing community. “I think we’re seeing more women sailing and that results in more opportunities these days,” she said. “Those women who rise through the ranks are highly qualified for the commodore position, having served on committees, as board members and officers. All of those positions in our area are volunteer roles, and many women enjoy giving back to their club and community in that capacity, which is likely another factor in the number of women commodores here.”

As a youngster, Reich, a retail manager who lives in Brooklyn and spends summers on Shelter Island, said she was active in a Western New York girls club that offered a girls-only sailing program.

“It provided a safe environment that really helped bring females into the boating family,” Reich, 54, said. “There’s now a whole generation of us who have experienced that kind of thoughtful sailing program — and I’m sure that’s resulted in more women sailors today. It’s only natural some would want to expand into leadership roles as they join sailing, boating and yacht clubs.”

Reich’s course to commodore status hit full throttle when her kids entered her club’s junior sailing program at age 6 and she became more involved, she said. Within two years, she said, she was running the youth sailing program. “I think I worked well with others, had some new program ideas and brought tech-side pluses to the table like moving our newsletter and much of our information online, providing a club phone app and finding ways to increase online registration, mostly things I was able to carry over from my business experience,” she said.

From there, Reich said she was tapped to be a trustee and elected to become an officer, working two years each as secretary, treasurer, rear commodore, vice commodore and, now, commodore — the second woman to hold the position in her club since its formation in 1886. Fifteen years ago, Reich developed a ladies’ night at the club. She was also instrumental in setting up two women’s regattas, overseen by a committee of female members.

“I wasn’t elected commodore because I was a woman,” said Reich, who has both a small motorboat and a J/9 daysailer. “Our officers and trustees are selected because they do a great job, are heavily involved in the club and know how to get things done. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and I really enjoy giving back to a club that has given so much to me and my family.”

Coed sailing tradition

Being club commodore can be challenging at times because there is so much to do, said Reich, who, with the help of the staff, other officers and volunteers, oversees multiple committees in addition to managing the club’s facilities, waterfront property and members-only restaurant. “We are a large seasonal club with a proud history, 375 members and over 150 kids enrolled in our sailing programs each year,” she said. “So, as commodore, you need to have your toes in the oversight of everything.”

Still, the entire ride has been a “beautiful experience,” said Reich. “And it’s not just about women and girls. When it comes to volunteerism and the importance of giving back and not being afraid to jump in and lend a hand, I love setting a good example for the boys, too. Starting out as commodore, I certainly wasn’t great at all the tasks required, but I learned to surround myself with good people who are sharp in different aspects. It’s important for our kids to learn that, also, and to not be afraid to ask for help when they need it.”

Ellen Talbot, 56, a stay-at-home mom from Riverhead and the third female commodore in the history of the 80-member Old Cove Yacht Club, believes a growing number of college sailing programs with coed and women’s teams may be another reason for the increase in women commodores on the North Fork.

“With several clubs that have youth sailing programs in our area, the kids get off to a great start, and with more opportunity now at the college level they come home with even more knowledge and confidence,” she said. “Also, the North Fork has a long tradition of coed sailing, and I think that has a positive effect.”

At the 300-member Orient Yacht Club, Alyssa Constant, who lives in Pelham but summers in Orient, said she suspects the culture of the North Fork has played a key role in the rise of its women commodores.

“We have lifelong Orient residents, plus newcomers, young families and young adults who grew up out here or recently discovered the area,” Constant, 45, said. “It’s a very welcoming community, and being female simply isn’t a barrier to doing anything at a yacht club here —including being commodore. Our club is very relaxed. We don’t have strict rules with attire, there’s no restaurant and our club building was a potato shack before it was a yacht club. Knowing that helps keep us all grounded.”

'A lot of respect'

Constant is the third female commodore in the club’s 90-year history, and she said her strengths matched up with the club’s needs in an interesting way. “I’m an accountant and they needed someone to take over the treasury role, so that’s how I got on the fast track — and it shows that you don’t need to be a great sailor to run this ship. I still consider myself a beginner, in fact,” she said. “My husband is the more experienced sailor in our household.”

Brian Burke, 60, of Mattituck, president of the Peconic Gardiners Junior Sailing Association, said he’s thrilled to see several female commodores in charge at the same time. “We have nine member clubs on the East End and most of them have had a woman commodore or two in the past, but never this many serving at the same time,” he said. “It’s a big step in a good direction.”

Burke said that in terms of being a commodore, he doesn’t see any difference between men and women when it comes to getting things done, but he noted that having a diversity of perspectives and insights is helpful to any sailing organization. He said that many East End junior sailing programs have also seen an increase in the number of female participants in recent years.

As for facing any gender-related challenges in assuming their leadership roles, none of the North Fork female commodores reported any concerns. All of the women, speaking in separate interviews, cited strong support from their boards, trustees, committee heads and membership at large.

“Everyone comes with different ideas and life experiences, which is vital to the health and success of our clubs,” said Constant. “Our members may challenge each other when making decisions, but we all get along really well. There’s a lot of respect.”

“I think having a long tradition of coed sailing helps keep everything in perspective here on the North Fork,” said Talbot. “Gender doesn’t seem an issue at all when it comes to sailing here.”

“Gender issues?” Reich said, laughing. “Not at all, but I have faced challenges because I’m human.”

“That,” said Kalich, “is exactly how things should be.”