Adjusting to retirement: Long Islanders share their stories

For some Long Islanders, retirement is a welcome relief after years of hard work. But for others, adjusting to life post-career is not easy.

A recent survey by F&G Annuities & Life, a provider of insurance solutions, found that 44% of U.S. retirees have returned or are considering returning to work. Among those mulling “unretiring,” the most common reason cited was that they miss the intellectual stimulation they got from working, while another 36% said they worry about feeling a lack of purpose.

“People used to a structured daily routine might struggle with managing their time and setting a routine,” said Eva Centeno, a life coach from Southampton.

With no daily interaction with colleagues, there can be a sense of isolation. Work often is a big part of a person’s identity, and without a job they can question who they are, she said. Adjusting financially to a life that doesn’t include a regular paycheck is another potential issue.

Newsday spoke to recent retirees about how they have made the transition. While some have found the change difficult, others said it has been liberating, with more time for family and friends and a chance to pursue personal interests.

Here are their stories:

Linda Rosen: ‘Sometimes I feel guilty’

“I loved my job, but it was time to move on,” said Linda Rosen, 72, of Floral Park, who retired in August 2022. However, the former assistant to the CEO of AHRC Nassau, a Glen Head nonprofit agency that supports disabled people, said she misses working.

“Sometimes I feel guilty not working. . . . I miss the stimulation of meetings, planning events,” she said.

Rosen said she has had to find new ways to define herself: “I am a wife, a mother, but AHRC was a big part of my identity. I lost that. Who am I?”

Since retirement, she said she has become someone who plays canasta, walks more for exercise, started a couples’ club and gotten more involved in the co-op where she lives. She said she also enjoys caring for her two grandchildren on school holidays.

Next up, she plans to write a book about her “adorable granddog” Herschel, take continuing education classes at Farmingdale State College, and volunteer at Cohen Children’s Medical Center and as a poll worker during the upcoming elections.

Besides finding ways to fill her time, Rosen said that she and her retired husband, Jeffrey, 73, had to adjust to being around each other more.

“Luckily, he has his own interests — golf, the gym, his own card game. We give each other space,” she said. “When you spend so much time together there are more choices to be made, compromises to be made. What do we want to do, do we want to go out to eat? If we can’t agree on what to watch, we will watch TV in separate rooms. Sometimes we’ll watch reruns of ‘Law & Order,’ which we both like. Or if he wants to play golf, fine, I will find something else to do.”

The pair will likely vacation in Europe next spring and spend more time at their getaway place in Delray Beach, Florida, Rosen said.

What has retirement taught her? “Plan your time so you feel busy. It’s easy to get in the habit of doing nothing,” said Rosen. “You want to feel productive.”

Robin Marks Rizzo: ‘Time for conversations’

Robin Marks Rizzo thought she would accomplish more in her first year of retirement.

Rizzo, 70, of Hewlett, retired in June 2022 after what she called a gratifying 20-year career in the senior care industry. Her last position was as executive director at the Alzheimer’s Resource Disease Center in East Islip.

“Health care is a demanding profession with no real work-life balance. There comes a point when it’s time to turn the dial,” she said.

During the pandemic, work — with endless Zoom meetings and presentations — was exhausting. “The days never ended,” Rizzo said. Her two adult sons encouraged her to retire, she said.

More than one year later, she said she has no regrets. “Some people told me that I would want to go back to work after six months, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the lifestyle change,” she said.

Now, Rizzo said, she no longer has to rush back from visits to Philadelphia to see her grandchildren. She started playing mahjong at the Long Beach library with friends she didn’t see much while she was working.

“We have time for conversations,” she said. “Before, I barely had time to string two sentences together. I am on a new path.”

And she isn’t close to bored. She’s been busy with home improvement, recently renovating her kitchen, and she’s paying more attention to herself.

“I neglected myself, though I was great at taking care of everything and everybody,” said Rizzo. “I’m on the priority list, working out more with my elliptical at home, doing aerobics. I’m applying the skill set I had as a professional to my personal life.”

Her to-do list still includes learning a new language, getting better with technology, taking a creative writing class and volunteering. But in the meantime, she said she enjoys reading a newspaper cover to cover and doing The New York Times spelling bee, Wordle and Sudoku with a cup of coffee.

“I thought I might take a course, clean this closet or that drawer, but there is time,” Rizzo said. “I’m getting more realistic, more forgiving, more patient with myself.”

Maan Saluja: ‘I exercise, read and pray more’

Maan Saluja, 85, worked 60-hour weeks, six days a week, for decades as a pediatrician with two offices in Brooklyn. The Old Brookville resident called it quits in November 2020, joining his wife Bali, 82, who had retired several years earlier.

Given his age, Saluja said he had been thinking about retiring, but the pandemic sped up his decision.

His biggest surprise in retirement is how smoothly things have gone. “I can do things that I didn’t have a lot of time for,” he said. “I exercise, read and pray more.”

Saluja and his wife are part of a tight-knit group of 10 couples who meet monthly at each other’s homes, restaurants and elsewhere. The pair also frequent their Sikh temple, or gurdwara, to pray and meet friends, and they plan to travel overseas this fall, he said.

And Saluja plans to write his life story, especially about his childhood, when he and his family fled what is now Pakistan and started over in India — not for publication, but as a legacy for his family, he said.

Saluja said he still reads articles to keep up with the latest developments in pediatrics, but he’s also got his hands on a novel or two. “After so many years of practicing medicine, I can’t say I miss it,” he said.

David and Daryle Abeshouse: ‘Just getting started’

It’s been quite a year for David and Daryle Abeshouse, of East Meadow.

David, 66, retired in March and Daryle, 64, in June. Daryle said goodbye after more than 20 years as an elementary school nurse, while her husband left a career as a lawyer and international business arbitrator and mediator.

“I retired very reluctantly,” said David Abeshouse. “I was forced to due to medical circumstances — chronic spine and hip pain that was so excruciating it was impossible to do my job, that required a lot of hours, focus and concentration, which the pain greatly interfered with.”

While he had hoped to work for another decade, Abeshouse said, “I knew there was a possibility I would have to retire early. My lifestyle contributed to it, working close to 24/7 for 40 years.”

Months later, Abeshouse said retiring “is a big deal. I loved what I did. I didn’t have a choice.”

But, he said, “I’m not depressed about it, that’s not how I react to things. Instead, I’m grabbing the bull by the horns and searching for solutions.”

Abeshouse said he has been trying to find relief from his pain, including spending several weeks in Rochester, Minnesota, as part of a program at the Mayo Clinic.

He and Daryle, who had been thinking about retiring since the pandemic, have also had more time for each other and their loved ones. They enjoy eating dinner at 6 p.m. compared to the late hour they used to. They dog-sit their “grandpuppy.” And their twins, a daughter and son, are both engaged and planning big weddings, so there is excitement in the air.

Daryle, who said she loves the freedom and flexibility of retirement, takes a flower arranging class at Hunter College in Manhattan with an old friend. She said that, down the line, she may volunteer or go back to nursing part time.

“Some big weights have been lifted. We’re just getting started,” she said.