Barbara Strongin-Friedlander, advocate for women's rights and social justice, dies at 90

She was a woman ahead of her time, her daughter said of her mother, Barbara Strongin-Friedlander. Instead of spending her time in the kitchen like many women of her day, her mother was reading "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan, which would impact the rest of her life. 

"She was an incredible presence; intelligent, kind, a strong woman of many convictions who was a fighter for social justice and equality for all," said her daughter Ronni Mordechai-Strongin, of Levittown.

The South Setauket resident died on May 6 of complications of esophageal cancer. She was 90.

Barbara Strongin-Friedlander was born on April 16, 1935, in Manhattan. She graduated from Queens College in 1957 with a bachelor's degree in psychology.

"She wasn't meant to be a stay-at-home mom — she wanted to be a mother and work," said Mordechai-Strongin. Her mother returned to work when her daughter was 5. "She said it made her a better mother, a better parent."

Strongin-Friedlander married Alan Strongin (he died in 2014), on March 28, 1956. In 1970, the couple moved to Huntington from Flushing, Queens, with their four children before divorcing in 1981. Strongin-Friedlander married Gerhart Friedlander (he died in 2009), in 1983. The couple lived in Smithtown before moving to Jefferson's Ferry in South Setauket in 2001.

Strongin-Friedlander served as the field executive for Greater New York Girl Scout Council, Queens, from 1967-71 before becoming the education director of the Suffolk County Girl Scout Council until 1978. She was the executive director of Planned Parenthood of Suffolk County (now Planned Parenthood Hudson Peconic) from 1978 to 1986. Strongin-Friedlander served as a consultant for various nonprofit organizations, including the Long Island Association for AIDS Care, before retiring in 2004.

"She was a trailblazer in everything," said Mordechai-Strongin. "Mom was an advocate for AIDS care and prevention when it was stigmatized, and was very active in local politics in Suffolk County, providing voter registration to everyone."

Pat Boone was one of Strongin-Friedlander's best friends at Jefferson's Ferry and referred to her friend as "a force of nature."

"Barbara was super creative, kept us all active, and did everything with love. Whatever has become a tradition at Jefferson's Ferry, she started it," said Boone, of South Setauket. "She would want to be remembered as someone who tried to do good for our community, our town and our country."

Mordechai-Strongin noted that her mother was a "fantastic grandmother and role model for my kids."

"She wasn't the kind who baked cookies but always talked to the kids like she would talk to anybody," she said. "My daughter called her 'fierce and fabulous,' and my kids had a very close relationship with her."

Strongin-Friedlander loved to travel and read, but she "spent every free moment as an advocate for social justice and politics," her daughter said.

Strongin-Friedlander volunteered with a multitude of organizations dedicated to women and equality. She was a founding member Suffolk County Voluntary Action Center (1976-78); served as the founder and treasurer of the Suffolk Network on Adolescent Pregnancy (1979-80); and was the national executive director, Council Northeast region Planned Parenthood Federation of America (1980-84).

"She would want to be remembered as a strong, independent woman who got things done and changed things for the better, especially for women and girls," said Mordechai-Strongin.

Strongin-Friedlander received numerous awards and recognitions throughout her life, including the Margaret Sanger award from Planned Parenthood Suffolk County in 1986, the Long Island National Organization for Women in 1994, the Three Village Community Award in 2011, and the Community Builder Award from Jefferson's Ferry in 2012.

In addition to her daughter, Strongin-Friedlander is survived by her sons, William Strongin and David Strongin; daughter Stacey Blaney; six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. A celebration of life is planned for June 8 at 11 a.m. at Jefferson's Ferry. Donations can be made to Planned Parenthood or the Jefferson's Ferry Foundation.