Long Island veterans gather in advance of Memorial Day to honor comrades who didn't return from war

Reflecting on his Korean War service, including seven days of combat that earned him a Purple Heart, Salvatore Scarlato remembered the friends he never saw after they enlisted in the United States Marine Corps.

"Five of them are still in Korea," Scarlato, 92, said of his comrades still missing in action. "Memorial Day is very, very sensitive. We have to be honored and proud that we who are alive honor and respect ... the men and women that did the ultimate sacrifice."

Scarlato sat in the front row of a meeting hall Friday afternoon at the Long Island State Veterans Home at Stony Brook University. Every Friday leading up to Memorial Day, the federally and state-funded nursing home for seniors who served the nation’s armed forces hosts a ceremony to honor those who died during their military service.

The affair elicited jovial singing from the audience during piano performances of multiple patriotic songs and demanded silence as a bell tolled six times, once to honor all the veterans in each of the six branches of America’s military.

"For a long time, Memorial Day seemed at risk of just becoming another day off from work or school, or maybe just the beginning of summer vacation," Fred Sganga, the nursing home’s executive director, told the audience Friday. "We need to remember those who left the comforts of home to fight for us and our freedom, but never returned to one day trade the title of soldier, sailor, airman, Coast Guardsman and Marine for the title of veteran."

As he recited the Pledge of Allegiance at the top of the ceremony, retired Capt. Mark Sheridan held his right hand firm in salute near the brim of his hat signifying he was an Army Ranger.

"Every day is Memorial Day for those of us that served in combat," said Sheridan, an 83-year-old Purple Heart recipient.

Debra Ponella, who has worked at the home as a unit assistant in the nursing department for 13 years, sat near the back of the room Friday. The annual affair has become more solemn for her personally since her father, Cpl. Michael Ponella, a Korean War veteran, died on Memorial Day in 2023.

"These men and women, you can’t compare them," Ponella said of fallen soldiers. "The sacrifices they made for the love of their country ... It’s immeasurable. They went in knowing that they might not get out. They did what most of us dare not do."

Alongside the nursing home’s staff members and volunteers, members of the Suffolk County chapter of the congressionally chartered Vietnam Veterans of America escorted around 80 of the home's residents into the hall. Many sported baseball caps signifying their service in Vietnam. A handful wore hats or pins reflecting service during the Korean War. Three veterans of World War II rounded out the assembly.

During his keynote address to the crowd of veterans, Assemb. Steve Stern (D-Dix Hills) spoke of the importance of capturing veterans' stories, be it firsthand or through preserving their letters sent home, whether they fought in the Battle of Verdun or Afghanistan.

"Those stories are what makes an impact," Stern said. "It’s what we all continue to learn from."