Retired FDNY firefighter Tony Mussorfiti and his daughter Samantha.

Retired FDNY firefighter Tony Mussorfiti and his daughter Samantha. Credit: Mussorfiti family

On the nation's darkest day, Tony Mussorfiti's FDNY unit bore some of the highest burdens.

The Massapequa resident and now-retired FDNY lieutenant was a member of Squad 288-Hazmat 1 in Maspeth, Queens, which lost 19 members in the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks — more than any firehouse in New York City.

Five years later, after the funerals were over and the rescue and recovery operation had long since ceased, Mussorfiti began to notice that he was hardly sleeping, his mind reliving the trauma and tragedy of that day on a constant loop.

Mussorfiti decided to seek help through Friends of Firefighters, a Brooklyn-based nonprofit created in the wake of the attacks to provide free and confidential mental health, wellness and peer support to members of the FDNY, many of whom live on Long Island. The group does not provide services to Long Island's volunteer fire departments.

“The biggest thing is realizing you're not alone,” said Mussorfiti, who participated in counseling sessions with Friends of Firefighters. “You never get over it. It's always there. But you know how to control it.”

With data showing a growing demand for counseling services among FDNY members — and their children — Mussorfiti has become a vocal advocate for dismantling the enduring stigma surrounding seeking mental health support within the firefighter community.

“If anything good came out of 9/11, it's that we started to talk to one another and realize that 'Hey, I'm not the only one feeling a certain way,' " said Mussorfiti, who now serves on FOF's Advisory Council, alongside actors Gary Sinise and Steve Buscemi and rock legend Dee Snider, who was raised in Freeport and Baldwin. “I don't like what I'm doing right now. But somebody has to say, 'Hey, I went through it. And I'll show you what brother and sister. I know how to get out of it.' "

A new report issued by Friends of Firefighters showed a 307% increase in the number of counseling sessions provided to FDNY members since 2018, with the increase particularly heightened since the COVID-19 pandemic.

“COVID was impactful for everyone on the planet, but for firefighters it was particularly difficult because they were going into the unknown on a daily basis,” said Northport native Nancy Carbone, the founder and executive director of Friends of Firefighters, which also provides acupuncture, support groups, financial guidance and Reiki, a Japanese form of energy healing. 

The need for services has continued to grow, between a rash of unpredictable and deadly blazes sparked by faulty lithium-ion batteries and the exceeding number of firefighters who continue to die from 9/11-related illnesses — a figure that now exceeds the 343 members who died in the Ground Zero attacks, Carbone said. 

The 4,514 counseling sessions provided last year by Friends of Firefighters, which operates through grants and donations, was a 26% increase from one year before and was the most the group has ever provided, the report showed. The FDNY has its own counseling services unit, but many members, Carbone said, use FOF because they don't want mental health sessions on their record.

The National Fallen Firefighters Foundation estimates that more than 100 firefighters die by suicide nationwide each year, almost double the rate of the general population. A 2022 report from the Ruderman Family Foundation, a Boston-based nonprofit, found that police officers and firefighters nationwide are more likely to die by suicide than in the line of duty.

“It's heartbreaking that someone reaches that point,” Carbone said, adding that she personally has driven firefighters at risk of harming themselves to a hospital to seek treatment.

For years, Friends of Firefighters has provided counseling services to the children of active firefighters, often at their loved ones' firehouse. But this year, Carbone hopes to launch a first-of-its-kind group therapy program for the kin of FDNY members.

“We want to help our firefighters. We want to help our first responders,” she said. “And one of the most impactful ways we can do that is to help their families.”

Samantha Mussorfiti, Tony's daughter, who was in first grade in 2001, recalls having terrible nightmares and anxiety issues after the terror attacks. Two years later, she became one of the first children to sign up for a Friends of Firefighters support group.

“It was a place where we all felt really safe and it was the first time where we all opened up about our stories,” said Samantha, who lives in Rochester while completing medical school. “All of the kids shared what they remembered from that day.”

Looking back, she said it was incredibly useful for children to share their feelings with other young people who had been through similar traumatic experiences.

“It's really helpful,” Samantha said, “in navigating all of the things that are bubbling underneath before they come to the surface in ways that can affect you like anxiety and depression.”

On the nation's darkest day, Tony Mussorfiti's FDNY unit bore some of the highest burdens.

The Massapequa resident and now-retired FDNY lieutenant was a member of Squad 288-Hazmat 1 in Maspeth, Queens, which lost 19 members in the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks — more than any firehouse in New York City.

Five years later, after the funerals were over and the rescue and recovery operation had long since ceased, Mussorfiti began to notice that he was hardly sleeping, his mind reliving the trauma and tragedy of that day on a constant loop.

Mussorfiti decided to seek help through Friends of Firefighters, a Brooklyn-based nonprofit created in the wake of the attacks to provide free and confidential mental health, wellness and peer support to members of the FDNY, many of whom live on Long Island. The group does not provide services to Long Island's volunteer fire departments.

“The biggest thing is realizing you're not alone,” said Mussorfiti, who participated in counseling sessions with Friends of Firefighters. “You never get over it. It's always there. But you know how to control it.”

A growing need

With data showing a growing demand for counseling services among FDNY members — and their children — Mussorfiti has become a vocal advocate for dismantling the enduring stigma surrounding seeking mental health support within the firefighter community.

“If anything good came out of 9/11, it's that we started to talk to one another and realize that 'Hey, I'm not the only one feeling a certain way,' " said Mussorfiti, who now serves on FOF's Advisory Council, alongside actors Gary Sinise and Steve Buscemi and rock legend Dee Snider, who was raised in Freeport and Baldwin. “I don't like what I'm doing right now. But somebody has to say, 'Hey, I went through it. And I'll show you what brother and sister. I know how to get out of it.' "

A new report issued by Friends of Firefighters showed a 307% increase in the number of counseling sessions provided to FDNY members since 2018, with the increase particularly heightened since the COVID-19 pandemic.

“COVID was impactful for everyone on the planet, but for firefighters it was particularly difficult because they were going into the unknown on a daily basis,” said Northport native Nancy Carbone, the founder and executive director of Friends of Firefighters, which also provides acupuncture, support groups, financial guidance and Reiki, a Japanese form of energy healing. 

The need for services has continued to grow, between a rash of unpredictable and deadly blazes sparked by faulty lithium-ion batteries and the exceeding number of firefighters who continue to die from 9/11-related illnesses — a figure that now exceeds the 343 members who died in the Ground Zero attacks, Carbone said. 

The 4,514 counseling sessions provided last year by Friends of Firefighters, which operates through grants and donations, was a 26% increase from one year before and was the most the group has ever provided, the report showed. The FDNY has its own counseling services unit, but many members, Carbone said, use FOF because they don't want mental health sessions on their record.

'Heartbreaking' data

The National Fallen Firefighters Foundation estimates that more than 100 firefighters die by suicide nationwide each year, almost double the rate of the general population. A 2022 report from the Ruderman Family Foundation, a Boston-based nonprofit, found that police officers and firefighters nationwide are more likely to die by suicide than in the line of duty.

“It's heartbreaking that someone reaches that point,” Carbone said, adding that she personally has driven firefighters at risk of harming themselves to a hospital to seek treatment.

For years, Friends of Firefighters has provided counseling services to the children of active firefighters, often at their loved ones' firehouse. But this year, Carbone hopes to launch a first-of-its-kind group therapy program for the kin of FDNY members.

“We want to help our firefighters. We want to help our first responders,” she said. “And one of the most impactful ways we can do that is to help their families.”

Samantha Mussorfiti, Tony's daughter, who was in first grade in 2001, recalls having terrible nightmares and anxiety issues after the terror attacks. Two years later, she became one of the first children to sign up for a Friends of Firefighters support group.

“It was a place where we all felt really safe and it was the first time where we all opened up about our stories,” said Samantha, who lives in Rochester while completing medical school. “All of the kids shared what they remembered from that day.”

Looking back, she said it was incredibly useful for children to share their feelings with other young people who had been through similar traumatic experiences.

“It's really helpful,” Samantha said, “in navigating all of the things that are bubbling underneath before they come to the surface in ways that can affect you like anxiety and depression.”

WHAT TO KNOW

  • Friends of Firefighters, a Brooklyn-based nonprofit, was created after the 9/11 terror attacks to provide free and confidential mental health, wellness and peer support to FDNY members.
  • A new report by Friends of Firefighters showed a 307% increase in the number of counseling sessions provided to FDNY members since 2018.
  • The 4,514 counseling sessions provided in 2023 by Friends of Firefighters was a 26% increase from the year before — the most the group has ever provided.
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