Is it tacky to solicit for fertility funds?

DEAR AMY: A couple we know in their early 30s have been unable to become pregnant because his sperm count is low.

They've decided to try a fertility treatment that costs about $10,000 -- which they don't have. They've decided to ask for donations. They both have good jobs, with a combined income of more than $80,000 a year. They have few expenses. Their rent is $1,500 a month, and they have one car payment -- yet they have no money saved and spend all they earn. We feel this is not the kind of thing one should ask friends and family to donate money for. If this is acceptable, then we feel we should ask for donations for our daughter and her family for a down payment to buy a home. Her family of six is living with relatives. We think a better option would be for the couple to stop spending and start saving. What do you think?Horrified

DEAR HORRIFIED: I think people can ask for whatever they want, from whomever they want. The success of Internet Kickstarter campaigns for creative projects may have emboldened people to ask for donations to fund their personal projects.

You needn't worry about whether this is "acceptable" because people will hold their hands out, regardless of what you think.

This doesn't mean you should feel pressure to comply, however.

One consequence of asking for money is the scrutiny this choice invites. Look at your own reaction to this request -- you have drilled down, examined and now disclosed your perceptions of this couple's finances, even comparing their finances with others' (whose financial situation you've also disclosed).

And thank you for that sperm count detail, by the way.

You can certainly judge this couple's choice to ask for money, but in the end you need only decide whether to donate.