Long Island parents face costs averaging $24,000 annually for infant care

When Kristen Pulver and Dante Nicolello, of Oceanside, learned they were pregnant, the first to know was not either of their parents or any of their other family or friends.

It was a day care center.

Pulver, 43, who works in advertising, and Nicolello, an attorney in his 50s, were just six weeks into the pregnancy when they committed to a spot in an infant room beginning in January 2026. Where the intake form asked for the name, Pulver just wrote Baby Nicolello. "They asked for a birth date, too, and I just put the due date," she says — July 31.

The scramble for child care can be so overwhelming on Long Island that some parents joke that they get on day care center waiting lists as soon as they start trying to conceive.

It’s not so far from the reality.

"Just finding available care where there’s an opening is a huge challenge for a lot of new parents," says Jennifer Rojas, executive director of the Child Care Council of Suffolk, a not-for-profit that helps families find child care. On top of that, parents struggle to find care that’s local, covers the hours they needs and is high quality — and, even more stressful, they say, is shouldering a cost that can push their family budget to the brink.

Infant care in a child-care center averages $24,000 a year on Long Island; child care offered by a licensed provider in their home averages $20,000 annually for an infant, Rojas says. Newsday has reported that paying for child care costs more than a year of college tuition. 

Approximately 70%  of Long Island children younger than 5 have working parents, Rojas says.

When something unexpected happens — like the sudden closing of the Tutor Time center in Ronkonkoma in May — it can throw family lives into turmoil. Those parents were told the center would close by the end of that month and that they would have to find new child-care providers.

Jaime Burt, 30, is a birth and postpartum doula from Port Washington whose unpredictable schedule is dictated by when her clients give birth. "The anxiety around the logistics ... I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy because of it," Burt says.

Here are the stories of some Long Island families and how they’ve grappled with the ongoing child-care conundrum:

Grandma, Grandpa, and even Great-Grandma

"I’m in the thick of it," says Jasmine Edwards-Guerrero, 34, a nurse from Huntington Station. She and her husband, William, who works in sales in Manhattan, are figuring out child-care plans for when she returns to work in July. Edwards-Guerrero is on maternity leave with her first child, a girl named Billie, 3 months old , and is in a weekly postpartum mother’s group where child care is a source of anxiety among the moms. "We are having this conversation every week," she says.

Edwards-Guerrero works an overnight nursing shift at a hospital. Once she resumes her schedule — three 12-hour shifts one week, then four the next week — the couple plans to rely on Edwards-Guerrero’s parents to keep Billie overnight on the nights Edwards-Guerrero works. Edwards-Guerrero’s 81-year-old grandmother lives with Edwards-Guerrero’s parents, and she’ll also step in to help out with her great-granddaughter, Edwards-Guerrero says.

"There is no traditional day care that works for us," Edwards-Guerrero says. None stay open late enough for William to arrive in time for pickup. An au pair or live-in nanny wouldn’t fit in the couple’s two-bedroom home. "We don’t have the physical space for another person here," Edwards-Guerrero says.

Edwards-Guerrero is considering transitioning to a day position, but earns more working at night, she says. Fortunately, the couple doesn’t pay Edwards-Guerrero’s parents for their help, she says. "If she can’t be with me, I would want her to be with family," Edwards-Guerrero says. "There is some bittersweetness. It’s still a sacrifice as a full-time working mom."

Ali Yarborough, 33, and her husband, Christopher, 43, have been counting on Ali’s mom — until now. They have a 1-year-old daughter, Emerson, and Ali is pregnant and due in August. Ali’s mother has been watching Emerson four days a week while Ali works as a teacher and Christopher commutes from Patchogue to his optical sales territory in the boroughs of New York City.

"Thank God we have my mom," Ali says. "My mom retired when I had my daughter so she could help us. She’s the only living grandparent." The couple thought Grandma would also care for the second baby.

Then the Yarboroughs found out their second baby is actually twins. "That was a game changer," Ali says. Watching three children younger than 2 would be too much for Ali’s mother, Ali says. Ali is on unpaid leave through November and is hoping to extend that if the couple can swing it financially. Christopher would add more hours to help keep them afloat without her second income; Ali’s mother will still help juggle three children. 

Day care center

Ashley and Robert Morocco, of Smithtown, are due in October, and when Ashley was eight weeks pregnant, she registered for a spot in January 2026. "This baby isn’t even halfway cooked, and I’ve got it enrolled in day care," says Ashley, 32, a small-business owner.

"It’s not only the financial stress, but also the thought of leaving him, not being in charge of him, having less control," Ashley says of adjusting to leaving a newborn in someone else’s care. But she’s more comfortable now because she’s been through it with her older child.

It’s not only the financial stress, but also the thought of leaving him, not being in charge of him, having less control.

- Ashley Morocco, of Smithtown

She and Robert, 34, a union plumber, have an older son, Ronin, 3. "Thank God I enrolled this baby when I did, or I would have had to be bringing them to two separate locations," she says.

This is also the second baby for Kristen Pulver. "It’s going to be painful how much it costs," she says of having two children in day care; her older son, Brenton, is 2. "We made sure to take vacations while we only had one kid," she says. She’s also calculated how many months — 19 — they’ll be having to pay for two children’s care. She is expecting that to cost more than $60,000, she says. "It's sickening, but I have peace in the fact that it's temporary. We want kids, so it's worth it."

Marra and Nicholas Tantone, of Sayville, are also paying for two children in day care — she expects it to cost $2,800 a month for Calvin, 2, and Max, 3 months, and that’s with a sibling discount. That’s $33,600 a year.

Marra, 32, and Nicholas, 33, are both attorneys, and they both had stay-at-home mothers. Marra says she didn’t want to ask their parents to watch the children full time. "Our moms did not sign up to have babies again. Watching toddlers full time is a lot of work," Marra says. Their parents help when the center is closed or a child is sick, Marra says.

The couple has become day care center fans. "They learn so much there. When Calvin came home saying the alphabet and knowing his colors, I did not expect him to know those things at his age. They do get sick a lot; that is the main downfall," she says.

Marra says she feels the pain of families at the Tutor Time Day Care Center that closed. "That’s terrible for parents who have to scramble like that out of the blue to be able to go to work. I’d have to lean into my family," she says.

Au pair

"We ended up with an au pair because for our work schedules we needed the flexibility," says Erin Clancy, 43, a business owner from St. James, whose pregnancy story is unusual. She and her husband, Brian, 42, an electrician, had trouble bringing a pregnancy to term and turned to surrogacy. During that process, Erin got pregnant naturally.

The couple decided to continue with both paths, and their two babies were born six months apart.

They first explored day care centers. "We went to probably a dozen places and the cost for two babies in an infant room was between $30,000 and $40,000 a year," Erin says. They also interviewed babysitters, but most were charging $30 to $35 an hour. "One woman wanted four weeks of vacation, sick time and holiday pay," Erin says. They couldn’t swing that, she says. "While there’s no amount you wouldn’t pay for the safety and well-being of your children, at some point it doesn’t make sense for one parent to work."

They chose an au pair so they could space out up to 45 hours of coverage a week. It still costs $30,000 a year, and there are challenges to welcoming a young adult from another country into your home as if they are family, Erin says.

The Clancys’ two babies — Dylan and Declan — are now toddlers. "The idea of a third child was definitely something we would have considered because we have more embryos, but the expense ... This sounds like first-world problems, obviously. We’re very fortunate," she says. "I can’t even begin to understand someone really just getting by paying this amount."

Day care in a private home

Michele Voigt has a 4-year-old son and a second son due at the beginning of September. She broke into tears when she was notified that Remington got a lottery spot for the free, universal pre-K program in the Sachem school district starting in the fall. "I started crying because it’s such a financial relief to know that’s paid for," she says.

Voigt, 42, is a teacher, and her husband, Christian, 39, is a welder. Michele had been so anxious every day coming home to Farmingville from work and checking for the announcement of whether her son is one of the two out of three applicants who won a space "The chances were not in my favor," she says. The Voigts still don’t know how they’ll arrange before and after care for Remington; Michele has been taking on private tutoring hours to try to put more money aside.

Remington has been attending an in-home day care since he was 4 months old; it costs $73 a day and comes out to $365 every week. The new infant will now need that care.

Fortunately, the couple bought their house in 2016 before prices soared, Michele says. "I also need a new car; mine has 147,000 miles and is leaking coolant," she says. "With a car payment I don’t know how we’re going to do it." She jokes: "I’m hoping some unknown ancestor I don’t know left money for me."

Jessica Merino, 32, of Farmingdale, also relies on an in-home sitter who takes up to four children, including Lyla, who just turned 1. Merino’s husband is a police sergeant who has a rotating work schedule, on for four days then off for two, then on for four days and off for three, including weekends. Merino is a physical therapist. "I can’t afford not to work because I have student loans," she says.

Commercial day care centers wanted her to commit to specific days each week, which wouldn’t work because they’d be paying for days they didn’t need when Merino’s husband was home. The private sitter is flexible; the family pays for days as needed for $15 per hour, Merino says. The couple also has a retired teacher who comes to their house if needed for $18 an hour. "It’s definitely stressful coordinating schedules," she says.

They’d like to have a second child, Merino says. "What’s holding me back is the cost," she says. The couple is considering getting a house with her parents to both save money and have them close by to help with child care, she says.

A patchwork quilt

Kristen McKasty, a nurse practitioner at a hospital, and Colin Volpe, a police officer, of Bohemia, both 31,  had their first baby  on June 9, a boy named Dylan. They are first responders and hope to combine day care and family members’ help to care for their newborn.

"We’re kind of hoping it will all fall into place," McKasty says. "We’re still maneuvering." They’re trying to keep the costs low so they can meet other goals. "We’re trying to save for a house right now, too," she says.

Ideally, she would love to have one parent home, but "in order to save money you really do have to have two working. I would love to switch to part time ... but financially I don’t know if that’s feasible."

She’s contemplating switching to a night shift so she can work while baby is sleeping, but then it would be a challenge to be awake during the day — she doesn’t think that option would be sustainable. Stony Brook Hospital, where she works, has day care, but it’s expensive and there’s a waiting list, she says.

Danielle Goldenberg, 32, is a chemist, and her husband, Alex, works in real estate. They live in Setauket and have a 9-month-old daughter, Charlotte. Danielle takes a ferry to Connecticut three to four days a week. "I don’t even see my daughter wake up in the morning. My husband takes her to day care," she says.

They were lucky that their day care center had a family that wanted only Thursdays and Fridays, so they could take Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. "Otherwise, we wouldn’t have gotten in," Danielle says. For those three days, they pay $1,500 a month. Then, Alex’s mother watches Charlotte on Thursdays and Danielle’s mother watches her on Fridays. "It’s very stressful," Danielle says.

Jackie Ploth, 31, of Farmingdale, works as a nanny. But when she had her son, Bobby, seven months ago, she and her husband, Rob, 35, a police officer, faced the same challenges as other parents of a newborn. She looked into day care. "I turned to my husband and said, ‘The day care is more expensive than what we pay for rent,’ " she says. They pay $1,800 a month for a one-bedroom apartment.

She says she is lucky that the family she has worked for for five years ultimately allows her to bring Bobby with her when she’s caring for their 6-year-old twins and 9-year-old boy. "I didn’t even know what we were going to do," she says, until her employer agreed to the plan. "We can’t afford it. It’s just so expensive."

When pregnancy comes unexpectedly, that complicates the situation even more. Burt, the birth and postpartum doula, and her husband, Nicholas, 29, a medical student on Long Island, conceived their son, Elias, when they were least expecting it. Nicholas had grueling days at school and Jaime had to work to support them financially. The couple doesn’t have any family locally.

They cobbled together four different babysitters who can cover Jaime’s schedule that changes on short notice. "It was super stressful in pregnancy and postpartum," Jaime says.

By Beth Whitehouse

beth.whitehouse@newsday.comBethWhitehouse1

Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and great things to do with the kids on Long Island. She’s been a Newsday editor and shared a 1997 Newsday staff Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the crash of TWA Flight 800.