Transgender equality advocate: It's time to stem the anti-trans tide on Long Island

Admittedly, I am not a typical transgender person.

I like to point out that in the "Poker Game" of life, I was dealt five aces — being born male, white, able-bodied, assumed heterosexual (because I am attracted to women), and presenting to be just a "normal guy" because of my ability to project a male gender. Thus, I experienced very little bullying as I grew up, and these identities helped me in my education, career, friendships, and the family I created. This is a far cry from the experiences most of my community members have encountered here on Long Island.

However, those privileges only masked my emotional confusion. I recognized my gender discordance when I was three years old, and it only intensified as I got older. I had persistent distress from the mismatch between my biological sex and my gender identity. In many people, this distress can lead to anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide. Luckily, I only faced anxiety and depression.

I was in my late forties when my father passed. It became clear to me that life is short, and I needed to find a way to live authentically. I began the process of transitioning — and that negatively impacted my job, my career, and my first marriage. This is typical for those who finally come out.

But now I am fully out in the world as my true self. I am extremely lucky to have the love and support of my second wife, my daughter, my siblings, and my college friends. But again, this is not the typical experience. Most lose the support of their loved ones simply because of who they actually are.

Looking back, I can appreciate the progress for myself and my community. For much of my life, I hid my true identity and found it difficult to meet other transgender people on Long Island. New York did not have transgender civil rights protections. As I got older, I began to live authentically and found my community on Long Island. In 2019, New York finally passed the transgender civil rights law banning discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression. Things got better.

But we are in danger of being dragged back into the past. The Trump administration’s anti-trans vitriol has created a climate of absolute fear for the trans community on Long Island. Our members who are currently receiving gender-affirming care are terrified of losing access to their lifesaving treatments. Parents of transgender and nonbinary children are preparing exit plans to move their families to Canada or send their children to boarding schools in Europe. Vacations are being canceled due to concerns of passports and other identification papers being confiscated. The fear of reprisal for being gender-expansive is intense.

State lawmakers must combat these attacks by investing in our well-being. They can do this by expanding the Lorena Borjas Transgender Wellness and Equity Fund, which supports trans-led and trans-serving organizations on Long Island and across the state. Every year since its inception in 2022, the fund has invested $4 million in more than two dozen trans-led and trans-serving organizations, supporting health care, workforce development, and housing programs. Increasing this investment to $8 million annually will expand the reach of these lifesaving services on Long Island. This investment will go a long way to ensuring that people like me can feel safe and supported here, and help stem the tide of anti-trans hate on Long Island.

This guest essay reflects the views of Juli Grey-Owens, executive director of Gender Equality New York.